All Things New

As an avid gardener, spring is one of my favorite seasons. In springtime we watch as the muck and grime left by winter is washed away by cleansing rains. The rains in turn nourish fresh green sprigs of new life. This is a beautiful picture of the transformation experienced by those of us who have found freedom from unwanted same-sex attractions and other forms of sexual and relational brokenness. Our new lives of joy in Christ are as different from our past life of sin and sorrow as bright blooms and blossoms are from the dreary grey of winter. The new life of spring reminds us each year of the joy and freedom we’ve found. We remember that Jesus breathed new life into us when we thought we were beyond hope.

Tending to Growth

As any gardener knows, however, a beautiful and fruitful garden is only achieved through much hard work and consistent attention. The soil must be tilled, the weeds pulled, the rocks dislodged, and the garden plot protected from pests. Once new life sprouts, it must be carefully tended, watered, and fertilized for it to mature and produce fruit. So it is with the life of a believer. If we do not dislodge the lies of the enemy from our minds, uproot the selfish desires from our hearts, and allow the Spirit and Word of God to minister to us and teach us, we are not likely to see much growth or transformation in our lives.

The Tools for Growth

The Joshua Fellowship (JF) program is specifically designed to help young men struggling with sexual and relational brokenness achieve victory over sexual sin and receive a renewed identity in Christ. While this work is taking place throughout the year, over the summer we place a special focus and emphasis on doing the hard work of healing. We focus on practical tools for defeating lies, fighting temptation, and overcoming sexual and relational brokenness. Overall, we point participants back to the source of abundant life: Jesus.

Our Summer Strive program and the Encountering Jesus Internship provide young men the opportunity to confront their challenges head-on with the encouragement and support of the JF community of men. We take on passivity and addiction, replacing them with action and service. We reject lies and sin, filling ourselves with the truth of God’s Word and joyful obedience. This hard work changes the young men who go through our program. The summer Strive program is credited by many current and past participants as the turning point in their journey out of sexual brokenness and confused sexual identity.

Growth Produces Fruit

What makes the summer Strive program so powerful is that it reconnects men with their God-given identity. In today’s culture of gender fluidity and androgynous sexual identity, many men struggle to connect with who they were designed to be and what makes them thrive. That’s why we started Strive. We want to help men reconnect with their masculinity–not as culture defines it, but as God does. Overcoming a life-dominating issue like same-sex attraction is not a purely self-focused act. It is a generative act that spreads life and the fragrance of Christ to many others. When men rediscover the truth of their identity, gender, and sexuality, they are empowered to be good gifts to their community. Men who devote themselves to being transformed into the image of Christ go on to become movers and shakers in the Kingdom of God.

Growth Comes From God

How do we do this? We meditate on the character of God as displayed in scripture. We offer thanks to God in all circumstances. We pray. We worship. We look to the wisdom of those who have walked this path before us. We entrust ourselves to Jesus and let go of control. We fight alongside our brothers. We get up when we fall. And above all, we rely on the God who is over all things, and on the sacrifice of His Son for our salvation. What it really comes down to is this: we don’t do it, God does. As the Lord spoke through the prophet Isaiah, his Word will not return empty, but will accomplish the purpose for which it was sent. His work may still be in the early stages of growth—almost imperceptible to the untrained eye—but given time it will spring forth to abundant eternal life. May God’s work be accomplished in your life and the lives of those for whom you labor in prayer.

Thanks for Being There

From the 2022 Spring Banquet. Used with permission.

God’s Faithfulness in Transition

Dear Friends,

If you are reading this, I’m writing to you from beyond the grave!

Not really, but by the time you read this, I will no longer be working at Outpost. Instead, my family and I will be at my new ministry position in another state.

Goodbyes are hard. There’s no way around that. But at least they can provide a catalyst for reminiscing.

Looking back, I am so grateful for my time at this ministry. I am thankful for how God worked and how God used the people in this ministry to bring so much healing and transformation into my life. It will be 10 years ago this fall when I nervously made the call to Outpost saying I may need some help. Since then, God used this place to do open-heart surgery on my soul. I had mentors speak into me and friends surround and encourage me, all while experiencing an ever-deepening intimacy with God in His presence.

Of course, it was not always pleasant. I had to grapple with my darkest desires, narcissism, pain, wounds, hatred toward God, hatred toward men and women, sexual addiction, and all the junk inside my sinful heart. Yet through it all, God’s love has always remained. His goodness and worthiness are what kept me going even when healing felt more hell-full than helpful. Now my heart is more sensitive to Jesus than ever before. Now I can receive (and have received) blessings that I could not have experienced before God did His work.

In these almost-10-years, I wasn’t the only one who changed. I’ve seen the lives of so many others impacted by the work and presence of God. Outpost itself has gone through a lot of change and will continue to change after I’m done here. However, one thing that remains the same is the truth that God transforms lives. God continues to use Outpost to do this ministry of transformation from death to life and from despair to hope.

As I say my final goodbye, be encouraged that God is faithful. He doesn’t need me (or anyone) to accomplish His work, yet He loves to partner with us. Ministering is a privilege we get to experience. It should never seem like a duty we are burdened with. I’m grateful to be leaving Outpost with a team that sees this ministry work in that way—as something they get to do, not something they have to do.

With that in mind, I know that Outpost will continue to need your support and prayer—now more than ever—as it faces another time of transition. God will provide for this important work. I hope you may be the means of that provision! As you continue to partner with Outpost as God leads, please see this partnership as a privilege. We invite you into the transformational work of God in the sexually and relationally broken.

Thank you all for coming along with me for this part of my journey.

The Lord bless you and keep you.

The Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you.

The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.

The Power of Testimony

Dear Friends,

Spring is just around the corner and with it comes our annual Spring Fundraising Banquet. After the menu planning and invitation design is complete, we turn our attention to the most important part of the evening: inviting people to share their testimonies.

What does it mean to give testimony? Merriam-Webster defines testimony as “a public profession of religious experience” and “first-hand authentication of a fact: evidence.” For followers of Christ, we understand the former, but we often tend to forget that the latter also applies to our stories. When we testify—share our story—we are speaking fact. We are saying, “listen to what God has done.” Banquet testimonies give participants the chance to share their stories of God’s work in their lives over the past years. If you’ve been around Outpost for a while, you’ve probably noticed that all our major events include testimonies. This is an intentional choice we make during planning.

Testimonies Help Overcome

Why are testimonies so important? First, giving testimony is a part of overcoming. Revelation 12:11 reminds us that those who overcome do so “by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.” Somehow, speaking the truth out loud to others solidifies that truth in the speaker’s heart and mind. The more we tell the story of God’s work, the better we are able to remember the story later—especially when we face another challenge. You’ve likely experienced this already in your life. Think of a song you learned as a child. The more you sang that song, the more you now remember the lyrics and the tune, and the more readily the song comes to mind when you need that particular encouragement. The same is true of testimony.

Testimonies Encourage

Second, when we give testimony, our story encourages others in their walks with Jesus. None of us who follow Jesus are walking alone. There are people in front of us, further along the path. There are people next to us, walking and talking with us. There are people behind us, looking to us for guidance and hope. When we share our testimonies, all three of these groups are encouraged. The writer of Hebrews reminds us that encouragement is a vital part of gathering together. “Let’s consider how to encourage one another in love and good deeds, not abandoning our own meeting together, as is the habit of some people, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

Testimonies Share Hope

As the cares of the world press in around us, it can feel as if there is no hope. In those times, remembering God’s past faithfulness gives us hope that God will move again. Those who have heard our stories are also reminded of their hope in God’s faithfulness, power, and love. My prayer is that each one of us will be encouraged and emboldened to testify today. Whether your story is big or small, sharing God’s work in your life brings hope to those around you. Share away!

We hope you will join us on April 2 for the spring banquet, so you can hear the stories of how God is at work in people’s lives through the ministry of Outpost. Visit www.outpostministries.org/events/2022banquet to register today.

An Introduction From The Interim Director

What a bittersweet situation to find myself writing as the Interim Director. As Nate’s friend, I am excited for this new season of life. Organizationally, however, this is a sad farewell. Nate has been a force for innovation and strength at Outpost, and his legacy will be something we carry with us permanently.

Now, we move forward. This is not a long-term appointment for me, but one that is intended to last a year at most. I already had a role at Outpost as the Executive Pastor, and long term I will step down as director to make room for the next leader. The Board of Directors will be actively looking to find a new director over the next year. We covet your prayers deeply in this process. We know that Jesus has someone special in mind to lead this vital ministry.

As I serve in the interim, I want to tell you about why I am here and what I love about this ministry. I am someone, like many of our Elijah Company participants, who was introduced to Outpost through a close friend who was struggling with same-sex attraction.

Then and even more now, the mission of Outpost resonated so deeply with me because my own testimony is one of overcoming. Because of the work of Jesus in my life, the things I struggled with before are just a memory. I was made new. In a world that increasingly tells us to just get by, my heart was immediately caught by this ministry and its message that no matter your struggle, Jesus can make you whole.

We are a company of overcomers. You and me. We are a people set apart. We have been made holy. Whether your struggle is with same-sex attraction or other forms of sexual and relational brokenness, Jesus remains the same. He makes us new.

While I am sad to carry on this ministry without my dear and beloved friend, Nate, I know that Jesus is still in the business of overcoming. He won’t stop rescuing the lost, and Outpost will continue to stand as a testimony of freedom.

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True Endurance

Teenagers are crazy. I’m probably just as crazy to supervise, of my own free will, an all-night lock-in with a few dozen of them. Any youth worker will tell you, the infamous “youth lock-in” is a program from the pits of purgatory to sanctify us and test our endurance.

enduranceTrue Endurance

As Christians, youth worker or not, we all need a lot of endurance. There is so much in our culture, society, and personal lives that tries to pull us down. Maybe we put down our guard for just a second, and all of sudden, we start to believe lies and accusations. Maybe we follow temptation into sin. Even if we are a super-saint, we still can get walloped with external disappointments and setbacks.

When this happens we might question, “Was my breakthrough even real? How can I carry on in victory and not start back from square one?” This is what true endurance is about.  It’s not only about standing tall when the world is pulling you down, but  it’s also about standing up again and again after you’ve landed flat on your back.

My Healing Story

Hebrews 12:3 says, “For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” For now, let’s just focus on that last line: so you will not grow weary and lose heart.

My own healing story, like most, has turned out to be a lot longer than I expected. I first joined programming at Outpost during my last college semester before going overseas. I figured, “Well, better get this little issue of same-sex attractions (SSA) out of the way before I leave. Three months should be good enough.” It’s been more than three months. I found that SSA was visible on the surface, but like an iceberg, there was so much more underneath. Sometime I have felt like I’m walking in circles, but each time I go deeper—more like a spiral staircase. There were many times I could have said, “I give up. I’m tired of this process.”  But even then, I feel like I have received too much and learned too much to go back.

Fixing My Eyes

The ultimate motivation and inspiration for me in all of this is Jesus. Hebrews 12:2 says,  “. . . Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.” I am learning what it means to fix my eyes on Jesus.  

Just to clarify when I say Jesus, I don’t mean God the Father, I mean God the Son—Jesus, and the entire theology behind His personhood. Hebrews chapters 4 and 5 tell us about how Jesus endured. He was fully human. Scriptures says how He was tempted in all the ways we are. That means He had no advantage. That really is radical, but it makes sense. If anything, He faced more temptations to sin than we ever will. He was tempted in ways we can’t even imagine. When I fast, I might be tempted to eat bread, but I’m never tempted to turn rocks into bread.

Fighting On

When I’m reminded of how Jesus overcame, it encourages and inspires me. Jesus is not this abstract idea, but since He was flesh and blood, He understands what our struggles are like, and He helps us in them.

I absolutely love the song Love is War by Hillsong Worship. It ties into this idea of not growing weary by fixing eyes on Jesus:

I will fight to follow, I will fight for love

Through my life forever, into the triumph of the Son

Your love has won it all, You took the fall to embrace my sorrow

I know You took the fight, You came and died, but the grave was borrowed

I know You stood again so I can stand with a life to follow in the light of Your name

When I see what Jesus did, how He fought on my behalf, how can I not get up and fight on?

Getting Desperate

The very next verse in Hebrews 12:4 says, “You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin.” If you can’t holla, “Amen!” holla, “Ouch!”

This verse always gets me every time. It reminds me that I’m not stuck. You’re not stuck. We’re not stuck! Even if we’ve failed, there’s more that I can do, there’s more that you can do. We haven’t resisted to the point of death yet!

This is what true endurance is all about: even after failure, we do whatever it takes to press on and overcome. It’s about getting desperate.

I love that word, because “desperation” is not affected by feelings, it’s fueled by need. I can be passionate about something, and I can lose that passion. Desperation stays consistent. I might go to visit the Sahara Desert because I’m passionate about travel, but if I’m stuck in the middle of the Sahara, I will quickly lose that passion. However, my desperation for water will remain the same.

When I’m desperate about seeking after God, His Kingdom and His righteousness, aware of my incredible need for Him, circumstances won’t change that desperation. If things are going well, I desperately need God; if things are terrible, I still desperately need God. For me, that is the foundation of endurance. It’s the reason why I continue to fight on.

A Great Cloud

Fellowship and community is another reason to push on and endure. Hebrews 11:39-40 says, “And all these, having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised, because God had provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.”

That last line is absolutely insane: apart from us they would not be made perfect. Just for the sake of context, “they” is referring to the super-heroes-of-faith-hall-of-fame-all-stars of the Bible. We read in Hebrews chapter 11 about all of these amazing people, their lives of faith and how they endured so much. The chapter ends in saying that all of that was just the prelude to what we can now receive.

They are the same “cloud of witnesses” in Hebrews chapter 12. And they are not cheering us on with a polite golf-clap. They are screaming and shouting because our freedom is their freedom. We are a part of the fullness of what God had promised to them. They, just like the rest of us, are waiting for the day that the Bride is ready for her marriage and mystical union with Christ. They finished their race, and are eagerly waiting for us to finish ours.

What a privilege and responsibility it is, living on this side of the cross! I still can’t get over how crazy this passage of scripture is and how it inspires me. I read how these heroes of faith “did not receive what was promised” and “saw promises from far away and welcomed them” (Hebrews 11:13). I read on and find out that they committed their lives, even though they saw that the promise was not to happen in their lifetimes. All they saw was a small glimpse of what was to come through Jesus, but that was more than enough. They knew it would be worth it.

Worthy of It All

A glimpse is what they saw, and it was worth it. A glimpse is what we need because Jesus is so worth it!

Jesus is the only reason I would be doing any of this process. There is no other reason besides Jesus to go through the pain and the work to endure. I’ve tasted and seen God’s love that is better than life (Psalm 63:3), and now I’m wrecked for anything else. I don’t mean that in any cute or romanticized way. Our God is an all-consuming fire. When I think I’ve given Him enough, He demands more. Yet because I’ve seen a glimpse of Him, I see how He is worthy of more than I can ever offer. Just like in the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego when they said that even if God did not save them, they would not bow. I can do nothing else but get up, carry on, and pursue God no matter what.

So let’s continue to persevere and never give up. Keep focused on Jesus. We can endure, and we will overcome. He’s worthy of our sacrifice, our struggle and our strength.

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