Do You Want to Change?

By Dan P. on September 7, 2023

Reflections on 30 years at Outpost

“Do you want to change?” This was the question my pastor asked me in the spring of 1988. What I thought was a sexual question turned out to be a spiritual one. It was the question of repentance, as with the New Testament word for “change of heart.” In 30 of my 35 years of change since then, I’ve been privileged to serve at Outpost in various capacities. I started in 1993 as “Associate Director” and wrote these words for Outpost News in 1994: “We simply want to assist those who are already God’s children to work out their salvation in fear and trembling in regards to the areas of homosexuality and personal spiritual growth.” This hasn’t changed!

There are a number of transitions however, that I’d like us to remember. In September 1996 I wrote in my newsletter that the month “marked a new beginning for Outpost. There was a significant change in leadership within the organization with three out-going board members leaving the board. This also translated into … a promotion! I am now the Executive Director of Outpost, Inc. … Bringing an organization through transitions such as we are experiencing is a real crisis according to the famous Chinese definition: their word signifies both danger and opportunity. I also realize that … transitional leaders, like interim pastors, often move on after the storm clears.” (DAN’S WORLD, October 1996) Things are still in transition in 2023!

I took a look back at 2001, which was another transitional period for us. We moved our office to a bank vault and found out later that the very first Outpost office also contained a bank vault! We jokingly referred to it as “Your secret is safe with us!” Unfortunately, 2001 was also the opposite of a bankroll for us, as we struggled intensely with finances that year. We closed down the Joshua Fellowship program and lost a key volunteer leader in Living Waters, forcing the unexpected closure of that program for the year. Surely, “Outpost is dead,” was the threat of the enemy. We had shriveled up and nearly died. But like the parable of the sower in John 12, after the seed was buried, it burst forth in new life. We started a “Noontime Prayer Break,” where we invited folks to come in for prayer from noon to one each day.  And then 2002 and 2003 brought more resurrection life to Outpost. Prayer increased, Joshua Fellowship was re-tooled and Living Waters restarted. We were “back in the saddle” once again.

In 2008, following a year of eye surgeries, my tenure as CEO changed with my vision loss. By 2011 I could no longer function effectively and stepped aside to make room for a new CEO, Nate Oyloe. With a new “operating system” our Board catapulted the ministry into a period of tremendous growth. By the end of 2015 a new kind of “death unto resurrection” occurred and Outpost merged into a new organization called Twin Cities Justice House of Prayer (TCJHOP). Prayer was a major focus, as we had our prayer room open over 40 hours a week. Outpost had grown to four regular support ministries: Joshua Fellowship, CalebSpirit, Elijah Company and Living Waters. And then a worshiping congregation brought it all together. We had 17 paid staff members and filled up a waning congregation’s church building with spiritual vitality throughout the work week.

The enemy had designs on us. Through a series of unrelated events, our staff was compromised in different ways. We seemed to lose our focus, even on the board level. And one by one staff members left. We are now down to four, a level we haven’t seen in nearly 20 years! It is a time for mourning, yes, but also for planting. When the seed falls into the earth and dies, new life springs forth in abundance.

We’ve seen this happen time and time again in our history in various ways. Sin had almost ruined us when our former executive director, Jeff Ford, decided to go back to gay life in the early 1980s. We started getting “famous” with our TV ad campaign in 1997, only to be pulled off-task. Then, we saw financial distress with the fall of the Twin Towers on 9/11/2001, the medical loss of vision for me in 2008-2011, and distracted vision in the years 2016-2020. We have “fallen into the earth and died” many times in our past. The enemy hates us and our mission, so he works overtime to stop us. Yet God will prevail. I believe Outpost’s best years lie ahead!

In these times, I often revisit the vision and scriptures God used in my early life to help me focus and stay on task. One of them is Galatians 6:1, “If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” This is what we do at Outpost Ministries. We are not here to get famous or make a profit. We’re not here to talk to the media who hate our message and will do anything to stop us. We are here to walk alongside folks who’ve decided that Jesus is worth all the suffering and struggle we go through in order to follow him.

In the 1970s, well prior to my involvement here at Outpost, Nancy Honeytree wrote a song called “Live for Jesus.” It was recorded by multiple Christian artists, including Evie. The point of the song is clear and simple: “Live for Jesus, that’s what matters. And when other houses crumble, mine is strong!” This is referring to Luke 6 where Jesus is teaching and calling people to follow him. He says, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?” In a word, we are here to call people to trust Jesus for healing and to obey him in all things. Discipleship. That’s who we are. That’s what we do. It’s in our DNA as an organization, dating back to our inception in the mid-1970s. And it’s what Outpost will continue to do after me, for many years to come.

Thank you for the many years of support and fellowship in this ministry. Please come for coffee and pie on September 16th to celebrate what God has done!

Filed Under: Archive, How Do I Change?, How Do I Live Out My Faith?, Important News, Is Freedom Possible?, Outpost News, Uncategorized, Who Is Outpost? Tagged With: , , , , ,

Called Out of Darkness 2023

By Dan P. on July 5, 2023

On June 22, we held Outpost Ministries’ 19th annual worship service to celebrate our being “Called Out” of the dark drudgery that we had lived in as slaves to sin. As a celebration of freedom, it was appropriate that we have moved our service to June, just days after our national celebration of Juneteenth, or Emancipation Day (from slavery). What a beautiful evening of joyous celebration we had! We re-visited the church where we held our 30th anniversary in 2006, some 17 years ago, Cornerstone Church Crystal.

We were led by a worship team that really “got it” in terms of freedom and joy. We sang and praised the God of our salvation and deliverance. The testimonies this year were all from our staff members, including myself. After each testimony of God’s grace, we took a moment to pray for the various groups in Outpost that we each represented: CalebSpirit, Elijah Company, and Joshua Fellowship. Through it all we were reminded that God is up to something good at Outpost Ministries!

Finally, the fellowship time afterwards was warmly appreciated as cookies and coffee mingled with conversations among friends old and new. It’s these relationships that are now possible as we all walk in the light of God’s redeeming forgiveness and grace.

Thank you to all who joined us for this special evening. We look forward to seeing everyone again soon!

Filed Under: Archive, Called Out of Darkness, Events, Letters from Outpost, Outpost News, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Streams of Living Water

By Dennis B. on June 5, 2023

“I can’t explain it, but somehow our identity is inextricably linked to our parents.”

Dennis Rainey

In the fall of 2000, I talked to a friend who was doing Living Waters at his church. At the time, he was struggling with relational wholeness, and for him, the struggle was with his sexuality. After talking with him and hearing how the Spirit was changing him, I sensed that Living Waters was worth a try for me.

I grew up as an only child of two working parents, with an active imagination, ample free time, and a knack for exploring. My father had a coffee table full of pornography, and the material was a regular way for me to find escape and pleasure. Addiction to pornography began at an early age, with sexual activity starting in my mid-teens. Compounding my struggles, I was molested at a young age by a babysitter and another older adult. I recognize now that my father didn’t know how to be present with me and so attention, identity, belonging, and affirmation seemed to elude me. As I became an adult, I chose to continue with what felt good. I focused on working, buying a lifestyle, paying attention to my looks, taking drugs, smoking, and making sure I was dating the most attractive women in front of me. These behaviors spiraled into isolation within myself and I never allowed anyone to get close. Sexual addiction had become a sentence and was getting worse. Thoughts of other pleasures and instant fixes rolled through my thoughts and imagination. Same-sex attraction and fantasies seemed to be a next step. All I saw was living a life where I chose to do whatever made me feel good.

The testimony of my friend changed all that. I realized I had to find something that would fill the void I was recognizing in myself. Joining Living Waters at Outpost and wanting to change was the beginning of what is now a lifelong journey.

Upon diving into the work, reading the books, and partaking in the groups, I saw how choices I had made in my past still affected me. I had to go deep into areas that, for me, were hard to confront. Idolatry, covetousness, and narcissism were a few of the traits that needed to be addressed. I realized that I was either unable to make decisions or only made decisions that made me feel better. Mother wounds and father wounds were recognized over the years as well. I saw how these wounds were not necessarily my parents’ fault, but who I was and how I reacted to their actions left a mark. I saw how past trauma left me in a constant fight or flight mode. Flight was my choice, and symptoms of PTSD in me were quite evident. Being constantly on guard left me always on the defensive. Guilt and shame were my identity.

Thankfully, through many seasons of Living Waters, my relationship with God The Father became something that I could trust. Trusting and saying “yes” to Him opened doors that I could have never imagined and am eternally grateful for. Each season brings more revelation, bringing me to a level of now walking in who He is and who I am in Christ.

For me, Living Waters is not just a program to complete and then move on to the next self-help group. It is not a service to attend on Sunday, a book to read, or an event to take part in. Instead, Living Waters is a time to truly take responsibility for my actions, bring my hurts to God, and seek healing. Knowing these truths and knowing Him is something many Christians confess today, but we can miss an important part of relationship with the Father: the deep healing of our past. We are no longer who we were, but we miss who He has for us to become. Living Waters is a place to start embracing that journey.

The truth is, Living Waters is for all believers! It is a safe place to engage in the healing process. Healing from past hurts, trauma, and abuse is His specialty.  Together, we deal on the front line with the roots of false identity and fear, which we all have. Typically, these come from hiding and are the symptoms to be faced and walked through to receive His healing.

We all have the same sin Adam and Eve had, and we receive the same consequences. It looks something like this:

We disobey instruction -> We feel shame and hide from God -> We blame someone else for our actions -> Our relationship with God is broken -> We experience long-term consequences -> Life goes from bad to worse -> Repeat

The choice we make is whether we will continue to repeat the cycle, or if we will break the chain! And we can break the chain, due to the ONE difference: we have Jesus Christ! With Jesus and through a great church, mentors, friends, and men and women who work at humility, honesty, honor, healing, and hope, we are the body of Christ. We can walk with one another into our true identity.

Will you join me and look forward to more transformation? Will you be present with the loving, faithful Father? Will you join me in saying heartily “YES!”

1 John 4:17 “Because as He is, so are we in the world.”

The 2023-24 Living Waters program will be held this year on Saturday mornings starting on September 23. We will update the Living Waters page as the class plans and application process are finalized, so check back for all the details.

Filed Under: Archive, How Do I Change?, How Should We Respond?, Is Freedom Possible?, Outpost News, Uncategorized, Who Is Outpost? Tagged With: , , , , ,

Gender, Confusion, and Conversation Part 3

By Wendy T. on November 15, 2017

ConversationSo far in this discussion, we have laid a foundation for understanding biblical gender and God’s creative intent for men and women as His image-bearers. We have pinpointed the confusing messages the world proclaims about gender and sexuality and presented the contrasting truth of God’s design. We have also given tools to bless and affirm the God-given gender identity of the children and youth within our families and churches. Now we will consider how to have life-giving conversations with our friends and individuals in our lives who live out of a place of confusion about their own gender and sexuality.

Looking to Balance

To have these life-giving conversations, we look to the balance of compassion and truth. We must always act in love, while continuing to stand for the truth of God’s Word and His design for men and women. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all way to be in conversation with the people in our lives. Each person has different hurts and needs, and each situation carries different levels of risk and consequence. Thus, it is imperative that we listen to God’s leading in each situation and have our conversations in the context of ongoing relationships with people.

The Ministry of Listening

The first way to demonstrate compassion and love to others is to listen, listen, listen. We listen in order to understand those who believe differently and those who are struggling. We listen to people’s stories, the good and the bad, the joy and the pain. We ask questions to hear the depths of people’s hearts. As trust is built, we can also ask questions to give friends the opportunity to give deeper thought to the experiences and pain that led to their confusion.

After listening, we affirm their openness and honesty. We acknowledge their pain, and we grieve with them over their hurts. All ongoing relationships are built on the sharing of ourselves. In listening, we communicate the message, You are worthwhile, and your story is important. In this world of confusion and destructive voices, this message is a healing balm to the soul.

Sharing Your Story

As we grieve with others, we can also ask permission to share our own story. Share your story of struggle—whatever the struggle—and how God intervened and brought healing and hope. All of us have struggled at some point with whether or not to believe what the world says about us or to choose to believe what God says. Your story of choosing to believe God is your testimony of healing. Always, though, be ready to listen first, and speak later.

Loving through Action

The second way to act in love is to serve, serve, serve. Practice the art of service. All of us are longing for love and acceptance, and God will not take away a legitimate need for love. Instead, God wants to show all people how to truly have that need met. We can begin to meet those needs for love by serving people. Take a meal, share vegetables from your garden, babysit, help with a home improvement project, and so on. Show love through action.

Keep in Mind

Of course, while we are actively showing love, we can also draw boundaries so as to not participate in advancing the confusion. For example, have a weekly coffee date with your gender-confused friend, but explain that you cannot help take him to doctor visits for his transition surgery. In these cases, we must remember it is not loving to encourage friends to continue down a path that will lead to more hurt and confusion or that will take them further from God’s design and plan for their lives.

We must also keep in mind that the people we interact with are not the enemy. Rather, they are confused and deceived by our real enemy, Satan. Our response to a confused individual can further the deception or shine a light into their lives. Our goal in all our interactions is to speak life so that others may know the love of God.

Walt’s Story

Walt Heyer, a former transgender with a powerful testimony of Christ’s redemption in his life, recently shared his own experience with us. Years after his own transition surgery, Walt, living as a woman, began seeking God and answers for his personal life. He began to look for a church. The pastor of the first church he visited told him, “We don’t want your kind here.” As you can imagine, Walt was devastated—but still, he tried again. Before attending the second church, he met privately with the pastor. Walt explained his situation. “You won’t try to change me, will you?”

The pastor thoughtfully responded, “No, Walt. I won’t try to change you.  My job is to love you.  It’s God’s job to change you, and don’t be surprised if He does.” That pastor had Walt write down his prayer requests every week so that the church elders and leaders could consistently pray for him. The church walked closely in relationship with Walt as he continued to seek God and work through personal issues in intense therapy. Walt eventually de-transitioned and has been walking out his God-given gender identity as a man for over 20 years.

Walt’s story could have easily turned out differently, but this church was committed to engaging in life-giving relationship with him as he sought after God. We want people to be drawn into relationship with their Creator so they may ultimately discover who God created them to be.

First Guiding Principle

To listen and serve is to show love and compassion for individuals in our lives. As we act in love, we also continue to stand for truth. Our first guiding principle in standing for truth is to remember that language matters. We want to always default to the biblical language of sex and gender when we speak to others. It is important to have a basic understanding of the world’s terms, but we want to remember to use the life-giving language of God’s design. Occasionally, we may also need to speak in the world’s terms, especially if our listener isn’t yet able to hear the fullness of truth. Listen to God’s leading in these areas, especially in the area of pronoun use, with a goal of continued conversation.

Second Guiding Principle

The second guiding principle we use is that safety for all is our goal. This is how we can approach all issues surrounding bathroom and locker room use, sex-specific sports and activities, and the like. We want everyone to be and feel safe in their environment. We want to stand for policies that protect all people, and we want to engage in conversation to ensure understanding. Male and female bodies are different, and intense hormone use doesn’t necessarily change those differences. We can encourage safety for all and work towards policies that support that goal.

Acting in love while standing for truth is a delicate balance, but it is necessary in our confused and fallen world. It is not compromising to show love to an individual while opposing a policy. And it is not unloving to stand for a policy that protects truth while serving someone who disagrees with a particular policy.

 Offering Refuge

Many struggling with gender confusion are struggling with a sense of belonging. Many are struggling because they have been so deeply hurt that they want to be someone else in order to let go of the pain. These individuals need our compassion and our unconditional love. We desire to be a place of safety and refuge, that they may be able to find a way to face the hurts, bring their pain to Jesus, and find full healing at the Cross. Remember, it is our job to love people. It is God’s job to change people. Prayerfully be expectant that He can and that, in time, He will.

Speaking Life

Having life-giving conversations with anyone takes time. We need to be prepared to spend the time to speak life into to the lives of those  around us. We must be ready to invest our time and resources into the lives of those who struggle. Our ability to listen and serve and our capacity to sow life-giving truth and grace-filled words bring the hope and healing of Jesus to those we meet. May we be available and ready when God calls us to speak life.

This article is the third in a three-part series. Part 1 covers biblical gender; Part 2 addresses gender confusion and ways to have life-giving conversations within families and churches. Part 3 covers how to have life-giving conversations with friends and individuals in your communities.

Subscribe to our newsletter!

Filed Under: Archive, Does Gender Matter?, How Do I Live Out My Faith?, How Should We Respond?, What About Transgender Issues? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Loving Your (LGBTQ) Neighbor as Yourself

By Nate Oyloe on November 9, 2017

serving

I am often asked at speaking engagements how to share the gospel with the LGBTQ community. My answer: the same way you would share with anyone else. One of the best ways to win souls in the LGBTQ community is to first build relationship with them and then pray for opportunities to share your faith.

Four Truths for Engagement

Here are four truths to help you engage with LGBTQ individuals:

  • Loving does not meaning condoning. Serving someone in love does not mean that you are in agreement with every area of their life.
  • It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict of sin, not yours. (What a relief!) Your job is simply to introduce them to Jesus and let the Holy Spirit do what He loves to do—conform us to the image of Christ.
  • Gay people need Jesus way more than they need heterosexuality. Remember, it is only in relationship with Jesus that we are changed from the inside out.
  • Serve others. The most powerful thing I have found in reaching out to the LGBTQ community is service—being Jesus to them with skin on.
Four Practical Ideas for Loving

Here are four practical ways to love your LGBTQ neighbors:

  • Buy your gay co-worker a coffee on your way to work. (I actually know a story of a lesbian who was brought into the Kingdom because her Christian co-worker brought her a latte.)
  • Invite your gay neighbor over for dinner or bake them cookies.
  • Write out an encouraging note and give it to this person. (Make sure to listen to the Holy Spirit as you write. God will give you His heart for this person!)
  • Shovel their sidewalk! (Or, if you live in a more temperate climate, help them out with yard work.)

There are many ways to reach out to those who need Jesus. I pray you are inspired to generously love the LGBTQ people around you. Love wins souls!

Subscribe to our newsletter!

Filed Under: Archive, How Do I Live Out My Faith?, How Should We Respond?, Outpost News Tagged With: , , , ,

Spare Your People

By Nate Oyloe on November 7, 2017

solemn assembly

I didn’t want to have to do this again. Certainly, not just over a month after writing a response to the mass shooting in Las Vegas. But, here we are again. My heart is very grieved within me. This past Sunday morning, November 5, a 26-year-old man walked into a Baptist church in Sutherland, TX. He opened fire on the worshippers, killing 26 people and wounding 20. Among the dead are children as young as five years old, a pregnant woman and the Senior Pastor’s 14-year-old daughter. One family lost nine members (this number includes the unborn baby and mother mentioned above).

Great Shaking

Beloved, our nation is being shaken. Whole regions have been severely impacted by catastrophic weather. Whole regions have been burned to the ground by wildfires. The deep darkness in Hollywood is being exposed. The curtain is being pulled back on our government as well. Immense corruption and illegal activity are being revealed. And, in the past two months, we have seen two of the worst mass shootings in our nation’s history. Yes, we are being shaken.

God’s Strategy

In the midst of the shaking, God’s strategy is clear:

12 “Now, therefore,” says the Lord, “Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” 13 So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm. 14 Who knows if He will turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind Him—a grain offering and a drink offering for the Lord your God? 15 Blow the trumpet in Zion, consecrate a fast, call a sacred assembly; 16 Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children and nursing babes; let the bridegroom go out from his chamber, and the bride from her dressing room. 17 Let the priests, who minister to the Lord, weep between the porch and the altar; Let them say, “Spare Your people, O Lord, And do not give Your heritage to reproach, that the nations should rule over them. Why should they say among the peoples, ‘Where is their God?’” –Joel 2:12-17 (emphasis mine)

Great Awakening

Demonic activity is clearly increasing in our nation. God’s solution to the increasing darkness is the Church—the light of the world. We must get brighter. Now is the time for personal repentance, fasting, weeping and mourning. Now is the time for the Solemn Assembly. Prayer is our great weapon in this hour.

Special Solemn Assembly

In light of this, I want to invite you to TCJHOP’s Prayer Room Tuesday, November 7,  for a very special Solemn Assembly. We will focus on praying for the many impacted by the mass shooting in Sutherland and for revival in our city, state and nation. We will begin praying at 6am and conclude at 7:30 PM. I will be personally leading a prayer set from 4 PM to 6 PM, focusing on these prayer points and praying from Joel 2. Hope to see many of you there! We simply cannot go on business as usual. NOW IS THE TIME TO PRAY!

Subscribe to our Outpost newsletter!

Subscribe to the TCJHOP Prayer Room newsletter!

Filed Under: Archive, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Gender Matters

By Outpost Admin on October 26, 2017

Gender MattersJoin us for Gender Matters, featuring Distinctions, training designed to empower the local church to form an educated, biblical, and compassionate response to gender and sexual confusion, and Walt Heyer, a former transgender with a powerful testimony of redemption and a passion for others who regret gender change.

November 4, 8:30 AM-4:30 AM

Bethlehem Baptist Church, North Campus

515 Program Ave  Mounds View, MN 55112

 Students: $10  Pastors: $25  Indviduals: $35  Couples: $50  Lunch is included!

REGISTER NOW

Gender Matters sessions will address current identity, sexuality, and “transgender” issues from a biblical perspective! Sessions will:

  • Lay a biblical foundation for God’s good designs for human IDENTITY and SEXUALITY
  • Equip you to LOVINGLY and TRUTHFULLY interact with people who are struggling with GENDER CONFUSION
  • Give you a glimpse into the powerful, personal TESTIMONY of freedom from a transgender identity
  • Help you address LEGAL and POLICY needs proactively to ensure privacy, safety, and dignity of all in facilities and activities
Filed Under: Archive, Conferences and Seminars, What About Transgender Issues? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Gender, Confusion, and Conversation, Part 2

By Wendy T. on October 26, 2017

confusionYOU are an image-bearer. Have you ever paused to consider this weighty theological truth?  Men and women have been given the most profound honor in all of creation: we are created to bear the image of God. We bear God’s image—who He is and how He interacts with the world—in our spirits, souls, and in our bodies as male and female. The enemy is working hard to remove God’s image from the earth by bringing about much confusion regarding gender and sexuality. As image-bearers, we have the privilege of speaking truth into this confusion. We can also take life-giving steps to bless and affirm the God-given gender identity of the children and teenagers in our spheres of influence.

Message #1: Gender is a Social Construct

In order to have life-giving conversations, it is helpful to understand a little of the world’s thinking. We interact with it every day. Overall, the world is communicating three messages. First, gender is a social construct. In other words, gender is a concept created and constructed by people. This philosophy is nothing new. It has been taught in women’s studies courses for decades, but it is now emphasized among mainstream educators and taught as early as kindergarten.

Message #2: Gender is Based on Feelings

Second, the world says that gender is based on feelings, interests, and passions and is defined by each individual. Thus, we have people who identify as “transgender.” Their thoughts, feelings, and interests are classified according to what has historically been assigned to the “other” gender, not the one associated with their physical bodies.  It’s also a perfect confluence of self-determination and post-modern thinking. There is no objective truth—my truth is my truth, and your truth is your truth. Each of us creates that truth on our own, including the truth about our own gender. As a result, there are now 57 genders to choose from on Facebook in the United States.

Disconnected

Much of our culture is working with the misguided idea that gender identity, gender expression, biological sex, and sexual attraction are all independent parts of a person’s makeup. These different areas of a person’s life are all considered to be completely separate from one another. They are based on feelings and completely changeable from day to day. This means that every day, people are choosing whether they feel feminine or masculine. They are deciding how much cultural femininity or masculinity they want to express through clothes, hairstyle, etc. They are selecting how much of their physical female-ness or male-ness they want to exhibit, and whether they sense attraction to men or women.

Message #3: Gender Doesn’t Matter

Third, the world says gender ultimately doesn’t matter. In the end, men and women are interchangeable. There is no difference between the two. The ultimate goal of this line of thinking is androgyny, a world where humans are indistinguishable from one another. Distinction is removed, and the two meld into one. Thus, we have people identifying as “gender fluid” or “queer,” believing that they don’t belong to either gender.

The Truth of God’s Design

The truth, in contrast, is that gender is created by God, gender is defined by God, and distinction between men and women-and unity within marriage-are an intentional act of God.  We believe that God reveals and imparts our complete identity to us at the moment of creation through our embodiment as man or woman. The creation and definition of our identity rests in God’s design, not ours. When a man and woman are united in marriage, the ultimate goal of unity with distinction is shown to the world: two become one, while still remaining two.

Navigating the Chaos

Bottom line, the world’s thinking is rooted in contradiction and chaos. The world is trying to make sense of feelings and experiences while rejecting the truth of God’s design and revelation. Our children and teenagers are encountering this contradiction and chaos daily. Now as a parent of teenagers myself, the topic of gender comes up nearly every day. I am often corrected on the particular pronouns of choice by my daughter’s friends. “Mom, that person is a ‘they’.” Another friend chooses the pronoun “he” when “his” body is definitely a she. While God imparts our gender identity at creation, we also must embrace and grow into that given identity. As parents and mature adults, we can help children and teenagers in our sphere of influence do the same.

Connect Children with Their Bodies

The following tools can help build a solid foundation of blessing and affirming their God-given gender identity. First, within the context of family, we can connect children with their bodies. We can connect children with their male-ness or female-ness. Intentionally call them “son” or “daughter” and “boy” or “girl.” Teach children about their bodies and help them see how their bodies are called good by God. Teach the correct names for body parts and how to protect their bodies from misuse and abuse. This first may require overcoming our own shame about our bodies.

Encourage children to understand how their particular body works, what it does well, what it needs more help doing. Remind boys that their body is distinctive and different from a girl’s and how to take care of all the parts of their body. Remind girls that their body is distinctive and different from a boy’s and how to care for their unique body. Most of all, make your family the place children learn about their bodies. Then when they have questions, they know they can come to moms and dads to ask those questions.

Connect Children with Biblical Gender

Second, we connect children with biblical gender, with special focus on the gender that gives them identity. That is, we help all children do masculine things and express feminine traits. We also make sure boys find connection and identity in the true masculine while helping girls find connection and identity in the true feminine. Families are the first place this type of connection is formed. However, the church family and friends also participate in this connection-building.

Affirming Boys

Help boys find connection to the true masculine. Encourage and affirm them in their strength of character, their willingness to stand up for the truth of God’s Word, and their reaching out to others in relationship. Remind them they are “men of God” and name them as “sons of God.”  Make sure to build up this connection without diminishing their capacity to express the true feminine.

For example, when a young man plays a beautiful piano piece for the offering at church, thank him afterward for the strength of his playing. When a sensitive young man in youth group expresses grief over injustice at his school, commend him for calling out the truth of the situation and his desire to protect those who are vulnerable.

Affirming Girls

Help girls find connection to the true feminine. Encourage and affirm their ability to be at peace in the midst of tough times, their willingness to receive the truth of God’s Word into their hearts, and their capacity to live without anxiety about relationships. Name them “daughters of God” and remind them they are “women of God.” Build the connection without diminishing their ability to express the true masculine.

For example, when a young woman comes to church dressed in an androgynous style, compliment the beauty of her spirit and the tenderness of her dealings with others. When you notice a young woman speaking up regularly in Bible Study, commend her for her willingness to receive the truth of God’s Word in her heart. In all these situations, we build up people’s connection to their gender identity, while still allowing them to express characteristics of the other as they grow into full image-bearers.

Connect Children with Distinctions

Third, we encourage and affirm distinctions that arise from the differences between men and women. Take notice and talk about the different ways men and women think, feel, and behave because of their embodiments as male and female. Be aware of our cultural biases here, however. It can be helpful for children to find connection to things that fall into a cultural norm to encourage a sense of belonging, but we must avoid extremism. Toys, activities, clothes, hairstyles, and interests don’t inherently have gender, even though our culture often associates these things with a particular gender. Girls can like sports, and boys can like music without it meaning anything about their gender or sexual identity. Still, girls will do sports differently than boys; boys will do music differently than girls.

Continuing the Conversation

These tools can provide an environment that affirms children in identity and reduces the risk of confusion. They are, unfortunately, not a guarantee. As parents, we strive to fill our children’s hearts with the truth of God. We help them learn to nurture that truth, protecting it from interference from the world until it can bear fruit. We connect to a church body that helps continue this process, helping us teach and train our children in the truth of God’s Word. However, at some point, we all have to let our children move out from under our protection to protect and nurture the truth themselves. As our children mature, they are ultimately responsible for their own relationship with God and their own understanding of God’s Word. We continue to have ongoing, life-giving conversations with our children even after this point. We encourage a biblical understanding of gender and identity, directing them always to God’s design for their lives.

Our world is slipping further and further into gender and sexual confusion. It is now even more important that we have a grasp on what the world is thinking and understand God’s design for us as men and women. Within our families and churches, we must bless and affirm biblical gender and have ongoing, life-giving conversations about gender and sexuality. We need to have discussions about what it means to be God’s image-bearers in the world. These conversations will equip us and our children to have life-giving conversations with those in our communities. Our children are image-bearers of God. Let us as parents and the Body of Christ strive to impart this understanding into their hearts. May fully live as God has designed them, each one.

This article is the second in a three-part series. Part 1 covers biblical gender; Part 2 addresses gender confusion and ways to have life-giving conversations within families and churches. Part 3 covers how to have life-giving conversations with friends and individuals in your communities.

Subscribe to our newsletter!

Filed Under: Archive, Did God Create Me this Way?, Does Gender Matter?, How Should We Respond?, Outpost News, What About Transgender Issues?, What Does It Mean to Be a Man or a Woman?, What Does the Bible Say About...?, What Should I Do as a Parent? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Weeping with Our Nation

By Nate Oyloe on October 10, 2017

weeping

I awoke Monday morning, October 2,to the tragic news of the mass shooting in Las Vegas, Nevada. My heart is heavy as I think of the many grieving such a heart-rending and senseless loss of life. Clearly, the enemy is warring against the image of God. I was instantly reminded of the Lord’s words to Noah in Genesis 9:6, “Whoever sheds man’s blood, by man his blood shall be shed; for in the image of God He made man.”

The image of God is a sacred thing. As human beings, we have the great honor and privilege of bearing this beautiful image. We at Outpost Ministries and TCJHOP are committed to standing for the glory of God’s image by standing for the truth of men and women.

We know that in the latter days sin and demonic activity will increase. How much more then should we be vigilant in our stand for the glory of God’s image in men and women. Beloved, no other created thing holds such a high esteem. We have the capacity for relationship with the uncreated God in a personal, intimate relationship. Such a prize is worth the fight.

We are weeping with those who are weeping in Las Vegas and around the nation. We are reminded to fix our eyes on Jesus, the One from whom our help comes. We have renewed our commitment to pray and fast for our city, state and nation. We pray in the spirit of Joel 2, God’s strategy for navigating times such as these:

“Now, therefore,” says the Lord,
“Turn to Me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and

with mourning.”
So rend your heart, and not your garments;
Return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and merciful,
Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
And He relents from doing harm.
Who knows if He will turn and relent,
And leave a blessing behind Him . . .” (Joel 2:12-14).

Subscribe to our newsletter!

 

Filed Under: Archive, Outpost News Tagged With: ,

Gender, Confusion, and Conversation, Part 1

By Wendy T. on September 26, 2017

biblical genderMy first memories of being taught about gender and gender roles are from early elementary school. It was the 1970’s, and Marlo Thomas and friends had released a record album and TV special, Free to Be You and Me. The messages of the songs and skits were designed intentionally to teach children to reach beyond the gender stereotypes of earlier decades and pursue whatever interests we felt would fit our particular personalities.

While some of the individual messages of the songs and skits contained some important truths, the overall message of the work was to encourage an unbiblical, post-modern gender neutrality. We were to understand that men and women are basically the same, and any differences we may see or experience are not to be turned into generalizations about either sex. What I learned was that a woman can do anything a man can do, and a man should be able to do anything a woman can do as well.

Defining My Womanhood

As I grew and became a teenager, this message seemed to be confirmed by my life experience. I was a girl who loved Star Wars, enjoyed math, excelled at school, preferred my Industrial Arts class over Home Economics, and generally got along with boys more than girls. There were more boys who shared my interests, and I struggled with the drama of junior high and high school girl relationships.

Even with all these traditionally male interests, however, I never questioned my own sexuality or gender identity. I was a girl who had a specific set of interests, but I was definitely a girl. (The teachings of the world had not yet reached the fevered pitch of today, where feelings and interests are taken to imply a specific gender identity.) I knew that my passions, interests, and giftings ultimately did not define my womanhood. And yet, I didn’t fully understand what did define my womanhood.

Feelings Versus God’s Design

Looking back, I can see God’s hand protecting and guiding my understanding. A biblical understanding of sex and gender does allow for each of us, man or woman, to have interests and passions in any arena. But those interests and passions, those feelings, are not what gives us our identity as a man or woman. Our identity is found only in God’s design for our lives, how God has created us to bear His image in the world.

Biblical Gender

In order to continue this conversation, we must first agree on some definitions. We use the term sex to describe the physical distinctions between our male and female bodies. We use the term gender to describe the categories of behavior and being—masculine and feminine . God is spirit and does not have a body; therefore, God is not male or female.  However, we do see God exhibit gender; we see God exhibit both masculine and feminine qualities.

Based on what we have seen in Scripture, we define what is truly masculine as the power to act. God demonstrates the true masculine in many ways, including the ordering of chaos in creation (Genesis 1:1-10) and the initiating of relationship with us through Jesus (Romans 5:6-8). Furthermore, we define what is truly feminine as the capacity to be. God reveals to us the true feminine in multiple ways, including resting in peace after creating all things (Genesis 2:1-3) and comparing himself to a mother who nurtures her children (Isaiah 49:15).

Image-Bearers

Genesis recounts for us that God created all humans in His image, both male and female. Each man is a full image-bearer of God, and each woman is also a full image-bearer of God. We each bear God’s image in the deepest part of our being—our spirits. Because we each bear God’s image in our spirits, all humans—male and female—will exhibit both masculine and feminine characteristics.   In fact, in relation to God, we all behave in feminine ways, receiving the Word of truth in our hearts and minds, responding to the relationship that God initiates with us. Additionally, each of us must protect and guard the truth in our hearts so we may stand firm against deception, exercising true masculine strength.

Distinction on Purpose

Still, God’s intention for distinction within creation and especially humanity is clear.  He could have chosen to create just one type of body —an androgynous human that would be like any other human in every way. But that’s not what God did. God created two distinct and different types of persons: male and female. God created us male and female in order to reveal even more fully who God is and how God acts in relationship.

Since we believe God’s creative act is intentional, it follows that our physical bodies reflect a deeper truth about our spirits and souls. That is, knowing God’s character, the decision to make two different types of bodies implies that the male-female distinction extends into our spirits; it is not only a distinction in body. It also encompasses our souls–the connection between body and spirit; home to our emotions, thoughts and decision-making abilities.  Thus, a person with a male body—genetically XY—is fashioned with  a male spirit and soul, and a person with a female body—genetically XX—is created with  a female spirit and soul.

Body, Soul, Spirit

A male body encounters the world differently than a female body, due to physical differences. Likewise, a male soul will think, experience emotions, and make decisions differently than a female soul. Finally, a male spirit needs to be connected to masculine traits to find identity as a man, and a female spirit needs to be connected to feminine traits to find identity as a woman. We encourage males to connect to their ability to initiate relationship, move in strength, and stand for truth in order to be fully connected in body, soul, and spirit. Likewise, we encourage females to nurture beauty and be receptive and nurturing in relationship with others in order to be fully connected in body, soul, and spirit.

Fully Bearing God’s Image

In order to fully reflect the image of God, however, we make sure that these connections are not to the exclusion of the other; that is, a male is also created  to exhibit feminine traits, and a female to also exhibit masculine ones. For example, a male can and should initiate relationship and stand for truth (the true masculine) while also being receptive and nurturing to others and being able to rest (the true feminine). Likewise, a female can and should be receptive and nurturing while also showing strength, standing for truth, and protecting others.  The encouragement of one type of trait does not mean we overlook or dismiss the other.

True Woman’s Lib

For me, this understanding means that I can acknowledge the differences between men and women while also acknowledging that we each can do whatever it is God has gifted us to do. I am a woman because God has created me with a female body, soul, and spirit, and it is good to be a woman. I act in both feminine and masculine ways, but I do those things as a female. To be a woman of God is to bear God’s image into the world through my femaleness.

This is true woman’s liberation! To know that I am perfectly and fully loved as a daughter of the Most High King; to know that I can fully bear God’s image in the world; to know that God has gifted me specifically to do the work designed for me and my gifts; and to do all this through my femaleness, as a woman. May God grant us each the strength and wisdom to stand firm in the truth and lovingly share it with those around us. May we truly and fully bear God’s image in our manhood or womanhood, as God has created each one. May we truly be free to be you and me.

This article is the first in a three-part series. Part 1 covers biblical gender; Part 2 addresses gender confusion and ways to have life-giving conversations within families and churches. Part 3 covers how to have life-giving conversations with friends and individuals in your communities.

Subscribe to our newsletter!

Filed Under: Archive, Did God Create Me this Way?, Does Gender Matter?, Outpost News, Topics, What About Transgender Issues?, What Does It Mean to Be a Man or a Woman?, What Does the Bible Say About...? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
Next Page »