From Fear to Courage

By Matt E. on April 6, 2023

The Joshua Fellowship Journey

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

Dear Friends,

Joshua Fellowship (JF) is Outpost’s support group for young men struggling with same sex attraction, sex addiction, and other forms of sexual and relational brokenness.  It is named from the words of the Lord to Joshua in Joshua 1:9. These are words that all the young men in our program desperately need to hear and believe if they are going to make it through the battles ahead of them in life. They are not taking hold of a literal promised land, but rather promises that God has made to each of them. The story of Joshua can inspire them to go after those promises. JF’s summer masculinity course, which takes place every June through August, focuses especially on these themes and provides opportunities to experience victory in the face of challenge in very practical and physical ways.

Fear and Doubt

When I joined JF over 10 years ago, I was struggling in many seemingly independent areas of my life: career and finances, familial relationships, spiritual disciplines, physical fitness, and of course my sexuality. I joined JF in the fall, but it was during the summer masculinity course that I made the greatest strides in my healing journey. Over the course of the summer, I was stretched and challenged to achieve things that I’d previously been unwilling to even attempt. Over time I realized I had allowed failures in my past to teach me a very powerful lie: “I can’t.” As I chose to trust God and my leaders with my self-doubt and fear, I found myself able to take measured risks in the supportive and encouraging environment of the group. By the end of the summer, I was able to boldly declare “I can!” as I took on one of the most intimidating physical challenges I had ever faced.

The Well-Worn Path

The only thing more fulfilling than experiencing victory in your own life is leading others into victory alongside you. In 2021 I took the helm of JF as its coordinator. I’ve been incredibly blessed by the opportunity to share the hope and healing that God imparted to me through past leaders of the program with the next generation of JF participants. I love watching the various individuals who make up a summer cohort slowly evolve into an incredibly tight-knit and unified group by the end of the course. The shared experiences and mutual encouragement in the face of struggle forms a strong bond. This bond has resulted in many lasting friendships for myself and others who have gone through the program over the years.

Be Strong and Courageous!

The summer masculinity course, Strive, is returning this June. It is open to any young men aged 18 to 35 who want to take hold of the strength and courage they were created for and achieve victory in their fight for holy sexuality. Strive is structured to give participants as many opportunities as possible to confront their doubts and fears and to experience support, encouragement, and overcoming of struggles in very tangible ways. The spiritual disciplines of worship, prayer, scripture memory and meditation are paired with practical life disciplines and physical exercise to facilitate accelerated personal and spiritual growth. Are you discouraged by your ongoing sexual struggle? Do you feel trapped in unhealthy relationships or a dissatisfying job? Is your life dominated by passivity, fear, or doubt? Strive is designed to help you through these struggles and more.

Crossing the Jordan

As the Lord promised to Joshua, I now say to you: “Be Strong and Courageous!” It is time to leave the wanderings of doubt and insecurity behind and to courageously forge a path forward into freedom and strength. There is hope for healing on the other side of the Jordan. Your sexual and relational brokenness and identity insecurity is not too much for the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to conquer. Will you will submit to His instruction? Will you follow the well-worn path of the generations of overcomers before you? Will you join the men of JF and Strive on this journey out of doubt and fear and into strength and courage? I truly hope you will.

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God’s Great Love

By Wendy T. on March 10, 2023

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

        his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

        great is your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

        “therefore I will hope in him.”

Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)

This past week, my Bible study readings were all about the great love God has for each one of us. I cannot remember a time in my life when I did not know about God’s love for me. Still, this set of readings and reflections caught me up short. Two Bible stories I have known for years came alive in a new way.

First came the story of Hosea and Gomer. Hosea was a prophet of God, and God instructed him to marry and remain faithful to a woman – Gomer – who would be repeatedly unfaithful to him. Hosea’s marriage was a physical picture of God’s faithfulness to and love for His people, Israel. In chapter 3, Hosea has to buy Gomer back from slavery. He does so willingly, redeeming her debt and restoring their relationship.

Second was the story of Israel being given the law. The writer focused on the verse where God says “I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God” (Exodus 20:5, CSB). God is not jealous of Israel, but jealous for Israel. God knows that no other thing in all creation will provide what the people need. God’s great love leads Him to remind them to worship only Yahweh, that they may be satisfied recipients of God’s faithful love for generations.

As I reflected on these stories together, the eyes of my heart were opened anew. I was overcome with the sense of just how great God’s love is for me. There are hardly words to describe the fullness of that moment. It was truly stunning.

God’s love for me is so great that He will pay whatever it takes, willingly, to bring me back to Himself. I may pursue other gods by giving my time, talents, and treasure to fleeting things. Yet God continues in loving me. God goes so far as to willingly pay off my debt that I might be redeemed and restored to relationship with Him. And this willingness comes directly from that great love. The God who created me and knows me best also knows that I will not be fully satisfied by any created thing, no matter how good that thing is. Only relationship with God is able to bring me an abundant life that Jesus spoke of in John 10:10.

This abundant life—alternatively rendered as “life to the full” in the NIV—is a life that is fully redeemed, healed, and restored. God is not in the business of doing things half-way. Rather, God is in the business of taking us from death to life. That is, God heals our hurts, repairs our brokenness, and restores us to wholeness.

In my life, God’s restoration came once He revealed the great fear I had of being fully known by other people. It turned out that I truly believed that if people really knew me, they wouldn’t like me, and they certainly couldn’t love me. I spent many years hiding my true thoughts and feelings from everyone around me. Sometimes I even hid them from myself. It was too painful to face my hurts, so I tucked them away under lock and key. To the outside world, I presented a false version of myself. This false version was always okay, had everything together, and could always find you the right answer for whatever question came up.

Of course, our pain never does stay completely hidden. Eventually my pain came out in the form of a major depressive episode. I could no longer avoid having my true thoughts and feelings known by others. Thankfully, God had given me a church, a Bible study group, and a house of prayer filled with people ready and willing to love me like God does in the midst of my pain. Through many hours of sitting with God and with God’s people, I was able to really hear God’s great love for me. And that love poured into all the hurt places, washing away the pain and putting the broken pieces back together again.

Through the healing process, I also learned the goodness of sharing my true thoughts and feelings with those who love me. While I still struggle in this area, the experience of being truly known and loved by God and God’s people has brought me freedom to walk in a more abundant life than before. And I look forward to continuing to heal as I am rooted more and more in God’s love.

This hope that I now have—that wholeness and abundance are God’s intention for me—is the hope we offer to everyone who comes to Outpost. No matter the pain, no matter the struggle, no matter the brokenness, God’s love for us gives us the hope of healing. Even life-dominating issues like unwanted same-sex erotic/romantic attraction and confusion about identity are within God’s power to heal. Lamentations 3:22-24 provide one of my favorite summaries of God’s love. God’s love and mercies are new every morning. They never cease or come to an end. God is faithful to bring about what He has promised: life to the full. This is truly good news.

Maybe this is hard for you to believe right now. I know I spent many years not really believing that this good news was for me. Let me encourage you: this good news is for everyone. Jesus reminds us in John 3:16-17 of this fact:

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him.” (NASB)

The world is not everyone except you and me. The world is everyone including you and me. This is the truth of the Gospel. God loves each and every one of us. He created you, knitting you together intentionally, and is calling you to follow Him. May we each be willing to receive this great, unceasing love and allow God to heal our hurts, repair our brokenness, and restore our lives to the full.

Join us for more stories of God’s great love at the spring banquet on Saturday, March 25. Come hear how God is moving in the lives of our participants. Be encouraged by their testimony and by an evening of fellowship, worship, and vision-casting. Registration is open through Tuesday, March 21 on the events page.

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Seeing Ourselves Through the Eyes of Hope*

By Dan P. on February 9, 2023

We do not see things as they are.

We see things as we are.

– Dad

I recently came upon the above quote in A Father’s Book of Wisdom, a book given to me by a close friend. The “Dad” is the father of H. Jackson Brown, Jr., the book’s writer. I had to read these lines several times because they turned my thinking, and forced me to discern their meaning. There was something there, but what was it?

“Dad” gets points for candor and truth-telling. At least by my account. And it is the kind of truth-telling that invites the hearer to take a moment and do a personal inventory. “Wait a minute here, what am I seeing and why do I see this in this light?” Persuading people to take a personal look often elicits a strong and negative response. Why? Perception is reality—until it passes through due diligence!

Thus the difficulty with which the pro-LGBTQ+ world hears our message of hope for change and healing. Their reality is based on their perception of “the way things are,” just as our reality is based on our perceptions. We all see things from a faulty understanding sometimes, and not necessarily the way they are in reality. And, for us to convince someone otherwise, we need to enter their world, or at the very least, try to understand just exactly how it is that they see things. Theologically, this is what the Incarnation of Christ was all about: God becoming human in order to save us from ourselves. Missionally, this is our method. Like Paul, we try to become all things to all people that in so doing, some might be saved.

Point One is getting people to understand that reality may be something quite beyond their momentary perception. This issue of seeing things the way we are applies not only to evangelism and persuasion techniques regarding LGBTQ+ issues. Everyone does this. Indeed, Christians struggling with any number of issues can get “stuck” on this point, particularly if they are attempting to overcome a sin because of their deeply held spiritual convictions. Many find it hard to “recover” from their illness, addiction or problem, or to overcome unwanted same-sex attractions (SSA) because they see themselves incompletely. Perhaps they see themselves as incapable of change. Maybe they see their SSA or other condition as unchangeable. We, as truth-tellers, have a responsibility to inform their perception, to give them information which will give them the option of changing their opinions or actions which were previously based on an incomplete understanding of themselves. Much of this “information” about themselves should come from their Creator. He made them, let Him tell them what He had in mind! We simply remind people of God’s words.

All in all, I think it is a pretty bold move to ask someone to set aside his or her self-perception, in order to try to see things from a different angle. It’s like asking a New Yorker to move to Irian Jaya and live in a grass hut. Or like asking a stone-age native from Borneo to move to Beverly Hills. Either way, there will be self-conscious apprehension and high anxiety. Yet this is what we do at Outpost! We ask people to step out of their reality and see things from a completely different perspective. It’s a whole new world, and everyone feels off balance (especially at first). People want equilibrium. They like things the way they always were. (Not that that’s possible!)

I recall a joke about church politics that might shed some light on why things are as hard as they are: “The seven last words of the Church: We’ve never done it that way before!” People tell this joke to poke fun at how things (don’t) change in churches. But this is merely an extension of human nature. We are all admittedly uncomfortable about change. Any change. A New Testament picture of children learning offers a bit of insight. In Galatians 3:24, there was a hired hand whose sole job was to get the kids to school. Job Title: tutor (in the NASB). Tools: horse whip. He would literally beat the kids, driving them like cattle to school. The conventional thinking of the day was, if there were no tutor, the kids would dawdle and rebel and never quite make it to school. The children’s attitude is in all of us. Why would we want to change? Fishing and skipping rope are much more fun than school! And school would change us.

This phenomenon is very interesting on the flip side of this issue as well. Have you ever met someone who, in all his enthusiasm for daring feats of amazement, says things like, “It’s as easy as falling off a log” or “It’s like riding a bike.” Or, (and this one especially grates on me when I’m having trouble) “Hey, if I can do it, anyone can!” They easily exude confidence in others, when they see it accomplished in their own life. They see others the way they see themselves. They truly see the other being just like themselves, not so much the way the other one is in reality.

This attitude, however, may actually encourage us to learn the new thing. It may inspire hope in us that we can actually change when we feel hopeless about change. The lightness of heart may make the prospect of change really positive. Change will then be seen as a good thing, rather than something to fear or disdain.

So, how can we embrace optimistic hope about our own ability and willingness to change? How are we to engender that hope in others? Let me leave you with this scripture:

Hebrews 10:23-25: “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, … encouraging one another; and [this] all the more….” (NASB)

We are given this injunction by the writer of the book of Hebrews as encouragement to persevere. We shall overcome!

*This article first appeared in Dan’s World, July 1998. It has been abridged and updated. Used with permission.

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The Fellowship of CalebSpirit

By Dan P. on November 3, 2022

“But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land into which he went, and his descendants shall possess it.”

Numbers 14:24, ESV, emphasis added

In our continuing series of “This is Outpost,” I’ve been granted the privilege to tell you about our ministry among older men seeking wholeness in regard to their sexuality and relationships, CalebSpirit. This group got its start in about 2003 after the 2002 reorganization of Joshua Fellowship (JF). JF was the only ministry group Outpost had when I first came in the late 1980s as a participant. CalebSpirit started as a group study of a book called Men Pursuing Purity by Andrew Comiskey. At the outset, we just called the group “Men Pursuing Purity,” or MPP for short. Once we completed that book study however, we felt the name wasn’t quite right. But what to name ourselves? For lack of a better name, we simply went with “Men Over 30,” or MO3 for short, in keeping with our 3-character acronym precedent. Eventually, we “aged out” of MO3, since most of us were well past 50. Another name change came about then by popular demand. After doing a study of the “oldies but goodies” in the Old Testament–and taking a cue from Joshua Fellowship–we settled upon CalebSpirit based upon Numbers 14:24, quoted above.

Ironically, CalebSpirit is more of a fellowship than Joshua Fellowship. We follow a rather simple plan each week: welcome, book discussion, prayer time, and closing fellowship time. Each fall, we typically choose a book or curriculum, have a kick-off retreat to get started, then follow the weekly schedule. That’s how the school year goes, generally. We toss in a few other social events like a movie night and a Christmas party. In the summer months, we often do outdoor activities like BBQ picnics, croquet tournaments, mini-golf, biking, kayaking, etc.

All these activities are designed to help us better relate to one another as men, for men will more typically connect by doing things together, especially while using the good of their masculine bodies. The connection happens “on the side” of the activity, rather than being the stated reason we get together. Through the years we’ve done some really wild things, like batting cage practice and disc golf. A funny thing happened on the disc golf course one time. We decided to go to a particular park and play. Turns out we “played through” (or rather, we LET play through) a national disc golf tournament. We had no idea that professional golfers were on the course with us until we finished our course. That made the Dairy Queen conversation afterward real lively!

From the very beginning of CalebSpirit we have opened the group up to men who don’t necessarily struggle with same-sex attraction (SSA), but who struggle with any identified sexual or relational brokenness issue. In fact, one of our early volunteers never struggled with SSA, but so identified with the typical Outpost participant that he worked with us for about 10 years before his untimely death in a farm accident. His sudden departure left an indelible mark on the lives of the current participants.

We are currently studying a book by Dane Ortlund called Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers. This book is a healing balm for battle-worn soldiers in the fight against sin and temptation. Our minds and hearts are being stretched to the limit to understand that Jesus “in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet [is] without sin” (see Hebrews 4:15). Jesus enters the fray. His strength in overcoming temptation gives us encouragement to persevere. His presence in the trenches with us empowers us to walk in victory over the enemy of our souls.

Beyond our study together and intercession for each other, a real sense of belonging and togetherness is developing among us. These men do not have easy lives. Some are married and their marriages are difficult. Some are divorced. Some have never married and have become so used to the idea of being alone that connecting with anyone about anything feels awkward if not impossible. Even just having a group to go to the State Fair with can be a boost. Then there’s all the help we need with projects or moving or simply the ministry of presence during divorce proceedings. None of it is meant to be done alone.

Thank you for your generous support through giving and prayer for the ministries of Outpost! It is making a real difference in the lives of the men of CalebSpirit.

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A New Creation

By Rodger G. on September 14, 2022

This article originally appeared on CHANGED Movement’s Love & Culture blog in April 2022. used with permission.

“From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

2 Corinthians 5:16-17

Several years ago, I was part of a small group of men. We all struggled with issues around sexual purity and identity. We met weekly to encourage and support each other. During one of the meetings, after rejecting most of their encouragement regarding God’s love and view of me, one of the men confronted me.  He asked, “Are you so arrogant to believe everyone here is wrong and you are right?” The truth was, yes. In fact, I was that arrogant. In that moment, the Holy Spirit spoke to me clearly saying, “They see you like I see you, they see the real authentic you. Rodger, your vision is distorted by lies, you don’t see that you are a new creation.” See, I saw myself through the distortion of self-applied    labels and identities. I didn’t recognize the new man. No wonder walking in newness of life felt impossible.

The Old and New Testament speak of the hope that one day God would come and save His people. This salvation wouldn’t just be rescuing them from the evil surrounding them but it would be a salvation that completely changed the person who had faith in God. While this is fantastic, He promises to do even more. God said His Spirit would live in his followers, empowering them to live a righteous life, a righteousness that flows from the inside out1. The Prophet Ezekiel wrote, “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”2 The Old Testament hope has become the New Testament reality. Paul writes “the gospel is the power of God to save all who believe.”3 That is, when you believe this good news you encounter the power of God and it changes you, it changes everything!

Knowing and experiencing this power is central to Christianity. Paul asked God to give the Ephesians “the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened so that you would know…what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe…” Paul continues, it’s the same power (his great might)  “that he (God) worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places…”4  WOW, breathe that in a few times, it’s intoxicating in the best way!!! The very same power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work in us. Because of this we are saved, born again, resurrected into new life, adopted as daughters or sons, and we’ve been released from slavery to sin and death and set free to live a righteous life. This power is so powerful that it has made each of us a new creation. And, the Holy Spirit lives in us!

In 2 Corinthians 5, Paul writes about the ministry which he is, indeed, we are all called, the ministry of reconciliation. Paul states, “From now on we regard no one according to the flesh….”. He stopped assessing or judging people according to their appearance, what he could see with his eyes. He had initially done so with Jesus (and the fledgling church) and it didn’t work out well. Thankfully, this kind of vision problem can be healed by encountering the Risen Christ.

The effect of this change is we no longer see with distorted vision. Instead of seeing the distorted person, we see the authentic person who is in Christ; we see the new creation. Paul writes, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”5 Again, this is a good time to stop for just a few seconds and think about this truth. When we came to Jesus we were made a new creation. The word he uses for “new” means “all things are new, previously non-existent, far different from what they were before.”6 This is outrageous; I am not the man I use to be! Christianity is not rehabilitation for those addicted to sin. It’s not therapy to piece together a fragmented psyche. No, the old Rodger died, he was buried. Now, by faith in God, His power has made me a new creation, born again, resurrected into new life. And, so are you.

I may not feel or behave like a new creation, but I am. As a new born baby, born again into this walk of faith, I will develop and mature. It is by faith that we are saved! And it is the fruit of this faith in his grace, love and power that we mature in him. With faith that I am who God says I am, I challenge other voices that identify me as something other than what God says in Scripture. I recognize that my appetites, desires, or lust don’t define. My body’s sexual response doesn’t define me. God defines me and I see myself through His eyes. I see that I am a new creation. And, with hope in Christ and the testimonies of others, I “run the race set before me.”7 

Now that you are a new creation, do you see through those new eyes? When you look at others, how do you see them?  When looking at followers of Jesus, do you see the new creation?  Many disciples continue with the labels they had prior to faith in Jesus. They continue with labels that are no longer true. No worries. These labels are like “yellow sticky notes” stuck on a woolly sweater. With just a breeze, those labels are blown away. You don’t need to try to rip off the labels or confront the person, but rather love the authentic person Christ made them to be. Jesus will bring a breeze at just the right time. I encourage you to see with new eyes. Look for the authentic in others. For believers, this is always their new creation. For those yet to come to faith in Jesus, ask the Father to see them as He does. Never label someone with a label the Father would not give them.8 Ask the Lord who they really are and interact with them from that perspective. Honor them and love them as the Father does.

I pray that you encounter the love and power of God so intimately that nothing causes you to look back but that you see everything as lost for the sake of the gospel. I pray you no longer see yourself or others “according to the flesh,’ but as God sees. I pray you see yourself as a new creation and engage how different you are. You are not who you were! You are a disciple, a follower of Jesus, a Christian. This is your authentic self. Nothing else identifies you. I pray you and others are able to see in you the fruit of intimacy with Jesus, His righteousness, peace and joy increasing in you and through you!!!

1 See Matthew 5 In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus “raises the bar” regarding righteousness. “You have heard it said…but I say….” The righteousness of the Kingdom of God flows for inside out; it is not measured only by action but by one’s heart, feelings, fantasies and attitudes. 

2 Ezekiel 36:25-27

3 Romans 1:16

4 Ephesians 1:17-19

5 2 Corinthians 5:17

6 The mean of “new” from the Strongs, https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g2537/esv/mgnt/0-1/

7 Hebrews 12:1; 1 Corinthians 9:24-27; 2 Timothy 4:7

8 Kris Vallotton, one of the senior leaders at Bethel Church, Redding, one day had an encounter with a young man who had shared the labels he had applied to himself. When Kris spoke to the Lord about the young man, the Lord said to Kris, “Never label people with labels I would not give them. See them as I do.”

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All Things New

By Matt E. on May 10, 2022

As an avid gardener, spring is one of my favorite seasons. In springtime we watch as the muck and grime left by winter is washed away by cleansing rains. The rains in turn nourish fresh green sprigs of new life. This is a beautiful picture of the transformation experienced by those of us who have found freedom from unwanted same-sex attractions and other forms of sexual and relational brokenness. Our new lives of joy in Christ are as different from our past life of sin and sorrow as bright blooms and blossoms are from the dreary grey of winter. The new life of spring reminds us each year of the joy and freedom we’ve found. We remember that Jesus breathed new life into us when we thought we were beyond hope.

Tending to Growth

As any gardener knows, however, a beautiful and fruitful garden is only achieved through much hard work and consistent attention. The soil must be tilled, the weeds pulled, the rocks dislodged, and the garden plot protected from pests. Once new life sprouts, it must be carefully tended, watered, and fertilized for it to mature and produce fruit. So it is with the life of a believer. If we do not dislodge the lies of the enemy from our minds, uproot the selfish desires from our hearts, and allow the Spirit and Word of God to minister to us and teach us, we are not likely to see much growth or transformation in our lives.

The Tools for Growth

The Joshua Fellowship (JF) program is specifically designed to help young men struggling with sexual and relational brokenness achieve victory over sexual sin and receive a renewed identity in Christ. While this work is taking place throughout the year, over the summer we place a special focus and emphasis on doing the hard work of healing. We focus on practical tools for defeating lies, fighting temptation, and overcoming sexual and relational brokenness. Overall, we point participants back to the source of abundant life: Jesus.

Our Summer Strive program and the Encountering Jesus Internship provide young men the opportunity to confront their challenges head-on with the encouragement and support of the JF community of men. We take on passivity and addiction, replacing them with action and service. We reject lies and sin, filling ourselves with the truth of God’s Word and joyful obedience. This hard work changes the young men who go through our program. The summer Strive program is credited by many current and past participants as the turning point in their journey out of sexual brokenness and confused sexual identity.

Growth Produces Fruit

What makes the summer Strive program so powerful is that it reconnects men with their God-given identity. In today’s culture of gender fluidity and androgynous sexual identity, many men struggle to connect with who they were designed to be and what makes them thrive. That’s why we started Strive. We want to help men reconnect with their masculinity–not as culture defines it, but as God does. Overcoming a life-dominating issue like same-sex attraction is not a purely self-focused act. It is a generative act that spreads life and the fragrance of Christ to many others. When men rediscover the truth of their identity, gender, and sexuality, they are empowered to be good gifts to their community. Men who devote themselves to being transformed into the image of Christ go on to become movers and shakers in the Kingdom of God.

Growth Comes From God

How do we do this? We meditate on the character of God as displayed in scripture. We offer thanks to God in all circumstances. We pray. We worship. We look to the wisdom of those who have walked this path before us. We entrust ourselves to Jesus and let go of control. We fight alongside our brothers. We get up when we fall. And above all, we rely on the God who is over all things, and on the sacrifice of His Son for our salvation. What it really comes down to is this: we don’t do it, God does. As the Lord spoke through the prophet Isaiah, his Word will not return empty, but will accomplish the purpose for which it was sent. His work may still be in the early stages of growth—almost imperceptible to the untrained eye—but given time it will spring forth to abundant eternal life. May God’s work be accomplished in your life and the lives of those for whom you labor in prayer.

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From The Director

By Jonathan M. on March 3, 2020

Sometimes the Bible can be pretty quirky. That might sound weird coming from a pastor, but before you grab the torches and pitchforks, hear me out. There’s a very short story in 2 Kings 6:1-7. The prophet Elijah is with a couple men doing some log-cutting. One of the guys loses an ax-head in the water and cries out, “No, no, no, no! I borrowed that!” If you ever lost or broke something that belonged to someone else, you know that sick-to-your-stomach feeling. Instead of diving in and looking for the ax-head like a normal person, Elisha asks where it fell in, throws a stick in that spot, and waited for the iron to float so the man could pick it up.

I think that’s a little overkill. Didn’t anyone know how to swim? Did they really need to break the laws of physics for one ax-head? Really?! If that’s not quirky, I’m not sure what is. However, I think it illustrates an important point about God–He cares about the mundane.

Throughout my time teaching and meeting with clients this month, God has been reminding me of this . He is not only transcendent; He is also imminent. He is not just in the abstract; He is in the practical. He cares about our ax-head moments and wants to meet us there.

Not only that, I would argue this is the primary way He reveals Himself to us. Our faith isn’t built on abstract moral or legal principles. It’s not an esoteric revelation. Rather, our faith is built upon the person of Jesus of Nazareth, the Messiah. God revealed Himself in flesh and blood, dwelt among us, and will dwell among us again!

A lot of us romanticize encountering God. We believe it must be some extraordinarily big experience. Basically, we have great expectations we place upon God when, really, we should simply have expectancy. Expectancy is open to whatever God has for us today or in this moment. This is what the healing journey looks like at Outpost. It isn’t only about crazy breakthrough moments (those do happen, though!), but it’s about the consistent, every day choice to choose God above all else. To trust that He will be working and encountering us in the small and simple as well as the awesome and abstract.

God cares so deeply about us and He wants to reveal that love to us, not just in abstract theological terms, but especially in those practical moments of everyday life and lost ax-heads.

Filed Under: How Do I Change?, How Do I Live Out My Faith?, Outpost News, Voices Tagged With: , , , ,

Small Groups and the Impact of Community: A Living Waters Testimony

By Tatiana H. as interviewed by Joy K, Outpost Admin on September 1, 2019
A smiling hugging group in a circle.

A new Living Waters group begins October 3rd at Outpost Ministries. Living Waters is a 21-week Christ-centered program for those seeking healing and freedom from sexual abuse, sexual addiction, unforgiveness, fear, shame, insecurity, unwanted same-sex attractions and other relational brokenness. While that is a good high-level overview, the best way to tell you about Living Waters is for you to hear from someone who has already gone through the program. What follows is one of this year’s leaders, Tatiana’s testimony and interview about her experience in Living Waters.

Tatiana grew up being sexually abused from a very young age. This devastated her ability to have normal relationships and her concept of normal intimacy. As a result, she did not know how to connect with people, and that was very isolating and hurtful. She was an alcoholic by age 13, and a drug addict by age 14. She had her first stint in drug rehab when she was 16, and while there, met her first girlfriend. She had a disgust and fear of men, as well as a lot of confusion, so same sex relationships were a safe place. However, she still found herself constantly in relationships with girls that had drug or alcohol issues. She was addicted to hard-core, intravenous drugs by 25.

When she was in a jail cell at 27, she heard the gospel and had an encounter with Jesus Christ. At that point, she had her first bout of sobriety. She also remained celibate at that time. She joined a church, and she got involved in Bible Studies and outreach. However, she never dealt with or addressed her past. She simply tried to forget her past pain, ignoring its effects on her life. At 30, she met her husband through church, and they got married. Right away, she knew she’d made a mistake. Within 3 years, her marriage fell apart. Her husband turned to drugs, and she turned back to relationships with women. For 7 years, she left the church, her marriage, and sobriety behind, as she pursued heroin and same sex relationships.

Two years ago, her husband died of a heroin overdose, and 6 months later, her girlfriend also died of a heroin overdose. Between those two losses, she also lost her mom and dad. “Drugs could not even touch the pain,” she told me. “The darkness felt so much more dark! I didn’t think to call out to Jesus. There was just emptiness in my soul. But I believe the Lord heard that emptiness as a cry of my heart.” Three months later, she overdosed on heroin herself. She had to be revived twice, and she had an infection that complicated her recovery. While in the hospital at Mayo Clinic, she found hope again in Jesus. She chose to attend Minnesota Adult and Teen Challenge to get some help with her addiction. During that time, she turned her back on everything else and turned back to the Lord. Once she had completed Teen Challenge, she attended an intensive evangelism training class, where she met Jean M., Outpost’s Living Waters Coordinator. Jean told her about Outpost and Living Waters and helped her get signed up for the upcoming class.

She talked about how Living Waters showed her how to really understand what was pulling her back in to bad choices and behaviors. She saw her mindsets exposed. Additionally, she learned how to connect with people–and stay connected instead of alienating herself–when she had felt before like they were alienating her. Through time in small group, she learned to be honest and not to barricade herself inside. She learned to let people in, and that allowed her to break out of her “heart prison.” She said she is more scared now to not allow people in than to let people in, as she knows what that isolation leads to. “I look back over the last few years of my life and I couldn’t imagine being that person again. I wasn’t really even a person, I wasn’t really even living. Now I’m living. Before…I don’t even know what that was. It wasn’t even surviving. It wasn’t even existing.

What was your favorite or most meaningful part of Living Waters?

“The small groups! I didn’t know how to connect with people. I didn’t know how to be intimate with people. [Living Waters small groups are about] learning how to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Small groups taught me how to connect with people.” For Tatiana, small groups meant that for once, she was not being left alone in her pain. “[The people in a small group] help walk you out of [pain] and stand with you and invite God into [pain] with you.”

Why are you staying involved in Living Waters as a leader?

“Because I have been shown the way out of myself, and I just have to be a part of showing others the way out of themselves. I have to give what’s been given to me!” She also said, “having been pulled out of such a dark impossible pit, you can’t go on with your life without pulling them out too. Knowing that there are people that are in the place you were, pushes you to do something!”

Can you tell us about a deep experience with God, a special day, or encounter during Living Waters that you had?

“Sure! This was at Living Waters Leadership Training this summer. I always felt that there was a huge wall between my heart and God, and me and others. I heard from God that I had kept myself separated from Him and from others because I was unable to let people in fully, to trust anyone–or even Him–really. It was through the integration of repentance and forgiveness that I could feel that wall come down, and I just broke through.” She said that God spoke to her about loving part of His creation and hating another part of His creation (which was men). “[The wall] broke and it was very powerful. Something that plagued me for 30 years, melted away in 5 minutes. It was in group confession.” She said God changed her viewpoint from “look what they’ve done to me!” to “look what I’ve done to them!” “It was taking ownership and responsibility for my part,” she continued. “It reminds me of that verse: how can you say you love God when you hate man. It is important to forgive, but it is also important to be forgiven.”

If you were talking to someone who was afraid to come, what would you say?

“It changed my heart and my mind and ultimately my life! It’s all about inviting the Presence of Jesus in the Holy Spirit into our hearts, and there’s nothing to be scared of. You are not alone: You are surrounded by people who are gonna walk with you through it.”

Hopefully Tatiana’s story has been an encouragement to you. Living Waters is for anyone who sees or feels a need in their life for more of God, healing from past hurts, and breakthrough from hang-ups. Applications are being accepted until September 15th, so there is still time to join us! The programs runs October 3- March 12, 2020. It is from 6:30-9pm every Thursday–excluding holidays. The cost is $450, and there are scholarships available. Applications are available on https://outpostministries.org/get-involved/living-waters/

Filed Under: How Do I Change?, Is Freedom Possible?, Outpost News, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

The Power of the Cross

By Joy K., Outpost Admin on June 4, 2019

Recently, I have experienced difficult circumstances and losses that have left me reeling. Life has been so unpredictable and painful, and the challenges just keep coming. This has made me think about how we navigate this world as broken, sinful human beings, who so badly need a savior, a comforter, and a refuge from the storm. How do we turn from our own self-sufficiency and our attempts to fill the hurt and broken places with something other than the healing love of God? This is where the cross enters the picture.

The power of the cross is that we have a great High Priest, Jesus, who can sympathize with our weakness, who has been tempted in every way but is without sin, who enables us to confidently draw near the throne of grace where we are able to receive God’s mercy and help in our time of need (Heb. 4:14-16). This is a powerful passage, but one we know too well and can minimize when thinking of ourselves and our circumstances. If we read this passage with fresh eyes, we see a hope that we can be met and held, no matter what. We see the way to the Father opened by Jesus’ blood. We see that Jesus has bought us and we are HIS! Because we are His, we can have the confidence to come before Him in obedience and trust, even when things are hard. As I have struggled with the difficulties of this past season, I want to share some passages from Hebrews that I found very helpful.

Hope, The Blood and The Way

When our feelings and circumstances overwhelm us, the first thing we need is hope. Even when we are in the darkest places, overwhelmed by our pain; when we feel lost at sea, drowning in our sin and shame, we can have hope as an anchor in the storm. Hebrews 6 says God gives us His promises to encourage us as we lay hold of the hope set before us and flee to Him for refuge. This hope is an anchor of the soul, sure and steadfast (vv 17-19a). Using a promise from Hebrews 4, we can draw near to God to receive mercy and help. Instead of struggling like one who is in a sinking ship, we can lay hold of this promise as an anchor to weather the storm. We can turn our eyes towards Jesus in faith that He is with us, and that there is a future beyond our current stormy situation.

The second thing we need in this unpredictable life is the reassurance that Jesus’ blood is enough. When we are hit with shame or feel the weight of our sin, the Holy Spirit reminds us that Jesus shed His blood to set us free. Hebrews 7 speaks of how Jesus saves us completely and forever, and that it is He who always lives to make intercession for us (vv 24-5). Jesus is our Advocate before the Father, who understands us in our weakness and claims us as His blood-washed bride. Hebrews 9 talks about how Jesus, through His own blood, obtained for us eternal redemption, that our consciences may be cleansed of dead works to serve the living God (vv 12,14). By Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, we can be set free of so much–our past, our hurts, and our sins–that we might walk out of darkness and into light. We are new creations in Christ, even when we struggle, because we are saved and cleansed to the uttermost.

The third thing that we need is a way out or a way forward when we feel lost and overwhelmed by our sin. We have already seen Hebrews 4, where Jesus enables us to draw near the throne with confidence.

It won’t be overnight, but Jesus saves forever and completely, so we can continue to give God our “yes” in the now and the not yet. 

So Jesus not only intercedes for us, but he made a way for us to enter the throne room, for us to have access to the Father. Hebrews 8 tell us that Jesus mediated a new and a better covenant, one based on faith in Him and not obedience to the law (v 6). He calls us to faith and shows us the way into God’s presence, where we can receive the kind words and healing love of the Father into our broken hearts. It isn’t about legalism or following rules, but trusting that Jesus will show us the way as we walk closely in relationship with Him.

Our Part: Draw Near and Hold Fast

Now we have hope to anchor us, our Savior’s blood to cover us, and the way forward opened, so we can approach the throne. What is left is only our participation. Hebrews 10:19-23 is a summary of what has already been discussed, but there’s an important addition. We are called to draw near and to hold fast. Our part is to give God our “yes”–our submission to His working in our lives–and to believe when it gets hard. In my darkest and most rebellious times, when I felt farthest away from God, I prayed to be willing to be made willing. In His mercy, He answered my prayer, and worked in my heart to accomplish this. God is faithful to answer our “yes.” Like a kid who scrapes her knee and runs to her father, we have that kind of access to God. We can keep coming back, choosing to return and follow Him until the end.

The power of the cross is that the way is open, the blood has covered us, and we have an anchor in the storms of life. Even when we feel a million miles away from God, we get to choose, again and again, to say “yes”: to believe God and to take Him at His word. We are clean, we are healed and being healed, we have been freed from the power of sin and death, we are being made new. It won’t be overnight, but Jesus saves forever and completely, so we can continue to give God our “yes” in the now and the not yet. We may look like a mess on the outside, but the cross is enough. It is not our work, but our “yes”–our submission, our surrender and letting go–that allows God the opportunity to do something powerful and real in us.

Filed Under: How Do I Change?, How Do I Live Out My Faith?, How Should We Respond?, Outpost News, What Does the Bible Say About...? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Being a Good Gift: A Living Waters Testimony

By David G., Outpost Admin on April 1, 2019

hands holding a giftI recently completed the Living Waters program through Outpost Ministries. I’m deeply grateful to the leaders who spent several months creating a safe place for our healing. They also gave us a profound gift when they shared their stories with us in such transparency. So, in gratitude for the gift they have given me, here is my gift to you.

My story begins with a passive and emotionally detached father. To be clear, he worked incredibly hard to give us a comfortable life. But, while he never abused me, he also never sought a relationship with me. He was always busy with something more important. His passivity and emotional detachment left a huge hole in my life, contributing to a lot of anxiety and doubt in my worth as a man. But I wasn’t the only one affected. My mother, with whom it seemed I had a close relationship, also felt the effects of his absence. She frequently operated as a single mother, bearing the burden of dual parenting roles, one which she was never meant to carry. Additionally, her own needs for relationship and connection went unmet. My relationship with her became really hot-or-cold. Every time we had heart-to-hearts it felt as if something was being forcibly taken from me—something precious to me that I couldn’t name, but that I hadn’t agreed to give. I felt alone, unsafe and unprotected. In self-defense, I detached from almost all relationships, and vowed not to trust my dad and mom.

Because of how chaotic my external life was, I turned to an inner fantasy life of my own choosing. I hid my gift behind a wall of silence. The onset of puberty saw these fantasy worlds sexualized, for which I became deeply ashamed. I isolated myself further out of fear of discovery. I became thoroughly addicted to pornography and masturbation. As I was preparing to graduate high school I knew I had to make a change. So I joined a missionary group and moved to Indiana two days after I graduated. To my despair, choosing this Godly action did not set me free from my sinful behaviors. Anxiety ruled the day, and my acting out behavior became more desperate. Leadership, which couldn’t risk allowing me to continue in ministry, removed me from the fellowship. I came back to Minnesota devastated, slowly sinking deeper into addiction until I believed the lies that I had no ability to change, that change was impossible, that I was unworthy of marriage, that I was not a good gift.

This is when God met me. He told me, “I have a season of grace for you.” I threw it back in His face. “Who do you think you are to say that to me! What does that even mean? That doesn’t mean anything! I don’t care! Do whatever you want, but I’m not changing! I’m not doing a thing – It’s all on you”. Even as I lashed out, the cross came into my life. For the first time, I gave up trying to choose and act on my own, and I allowed Jesus to take control of my healing.

Shortly thereafter I was directed to Outpost Ministries and couldn’t wait to enroll in Living Waters. Throughout the course God continually brought up areas of my life to surrender at the cross. Every week I faced areas of misogyny, relational idolatry, unforgiveness, and vows of hatred and mistrust made against fathers and men in my life. Every week took courage to encounter my brokenness with honesty and humility. Every week I encountered safe relationships where I could share what God was doing in my life. Every week I went to the cross and surrendered. Every week I found nothing there but mercy.

God used the cross and fellowship to create a safe place in my heart, which He filled with an intimate Father-son relationship. He wasn’t passive and distant anymore, but present and engaged. He was able to nurture me and provide a home for me that my parents were never able to. He has taught me that the source of my masculine gift is found under the strength of His covering. My masculine strength and authority to lead come from my surrender to His authority, just like the centurion whose faith amazed Jesus. It was never my strength to choose or act that would free me, it was His! And He gave Himself generously!

I am so grateful for what God has delivered me from, and for what He has prepared me for. I hope you are encouraged by the gift of my story because God is writing a beautiful story for you to tell as well. You are a worthy gift!

Filed Under: How Do I Change?, How Do I Live Out My Faith?, Is Freedom Possible?, Outpost News Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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