Dear friends,
When I first joined Outpost at the start of 2019, I was broken and despairing. I had already resigned myself to a life of being crushed by my unwanted same-sex romantic/erotic attractions. I felt like my struggle was super unique and that no one could really understand what I was going through. I had well-meaning friends, mentors, and family who loved me a lot, but they really didn’t know how to support me in my struggles with same-sex attraction. They wanted to see me whole, but a distinct lack of personal experience made it hard for them to understand what I was experiencing and how I was hurting. I thought I would live my life being completely different from my friends who didn’t struggle the way I did, doomed to loneliness. How wrong I was!
Joshua Fellowship (JF) was a space of tremendous freedom and openness. One of the things that struck me when I began attending meetings was the solidarity. Being in an environment where people actually “got it” was so helpful. Having leaders who were overcoming same-sex attraction meant I had people who could actually relate to my experience. I was more truly known in community. The leaders could also call out things in me that I had never seen before—such as emotional dependency—because they had struggled with those things before. JF was a tremendously healing environment for me.
As I kept participating, I began to take to heart the phrase “not that different.” This phrase is important to me—and to the ministry of Outpost. It turns out that I am not that different from you, and you are not that different from me. Let me explain.
Prior to Outpost, I had read a few books from “gay Christians.” These were people who—despite being follows of Jesus who believed in God’s design for marriage and sex—saw their same-sex attraction as innate to their identity. Same-sex attraction, they said, felt like a huge cross they would have to bear for their entire life, a cross heavier than those carried by people who didn’t struggle that way. I could relate with those feelings. At JF, however, the leaders talked about how my struggles were really not that special. My particular form of sexual and relational brokenness was only different from my friends’ forms of brokenness on the surface. I began to see that I am a man among men seeking to overcome the same deep-down struggles and hurts as other men have. I actually belong to the world of men and get to be a good gift as a man to the men and women in my life, even as I continue to grow. I no longer see my overcoming same-sex attraction as some unique—and extra crushing—cross to bear, but simply a slightly different surface form of how we are all sexually and relationally broken. This has brought a lot of freedom and relief. I am not that different from you.
As I’ve continued my journey of transformation, I can also now confidently say that you are not that different from me. One thing I have noticed from conversations with people at our Distinctions seminars is that a lot of Christians are skittish and scared when it comes to
talking about LGBTQ+ issues. People feel very uncertain of how to have conversations with those who identify as LGBTQ+ or with Christians who are struggling in their sexuality or identity. This uncertainty comes, in part, from our culture building sexuality and identity into things they are not. The truth is, even if you have never struggled with same-sex attractions or your identity as a man or woman, you still have a ton in common with people who have struggled or who have embraced an LGBTQ+ identity. Why? Because you bear God’s image just as much as they do. Furthermore, all of us are sexually and relationally broken. The particularities of your story don’t detract from how much you have in common with people who have different stories from you. The Holy Spirit resides in us Christians, and we have the Word of God and safe Christian community to help navigate difficult relationships or conversations. Do you see? You are not that different from me.
Part of Outpost’s mission is to be one piece of people’s safe Christian community. We are humbled to be able to come alongside individuals and churches to point them to God and equip them in navigating hard conversations. Regardless of your story, God wants you to be humbly emboldened to connect with those who need Jesus—whether they are Christians or not. God wants you to preach and demonstrate the Gospel through compassion without compromise. By God’s grace, your continued discipleship to Jesus can be a witness to a world in need of a Savior. All of this, along with your faithful prayers and financial partnership, is how you can participate in the ministry of Outpost. May God Himself lead you in your next step towards receiving His loving-kindness. And may God strengthen you to enter your
relationships and our culture with bold humility and a desire to see lives transformed by the Gospel. Amen.
