The Tangible Hope of the Gospel

“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms…”

Ephesians 1:17-20

I love getting to help teach our biblical sexuality and identity seminar, Distinctions. Whether we are speaking to pastors and ministers, church youth groups, parents, or congregations, it is fun to unpack what the Word of God has to say about our identity and how that leads us to love others well based on the truth of the Bible. However, in our ministry walking alongside those struggling with sexual and relational brokenness, there is an underlying question that we must address.

“Is there any hope for me?”

I firmly believe all we teach, and yet I have struggled with hope throughout my own healing journey. When I feel like I have taken a step forward, it seems that many times I quickly do something, or something happens, that makes me feel like I took three steps back. I believe God has something for me, yet I have felt abandoned or lost at times. And there have been times where the Bible has felt unhelpful and dry. Talk about a messy process! During my three years working at this ministry, I have heard similar stories from participants time after time. I also know that those in the LGBTQ+ community accuse Christians and ministries like ours of offering false hope and promises that will lead to horrific consequences. That raises another equally important question: what does it mean for us to have hope in God and His promises?

Recently, I have been listening to a lot of sermons by the late Tim Keller on biblical hope. Dr. Keller notes that while our English word “hope” connotes uncertainty (“I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow.”), the Bible’s definition of “hope” is a joyous certainty in Jesus’ finished work that shapes our lives. Human beings, Keller argues, are inherently hope-based creatures, and our believed-in future shapes how we live our life now and how we see the world. In our own pain and darkness, in a world that increasingly seeks to snuff out the light of the Gospel, how can we live into the hope that the Bible talks about?

The Ephesians passage above gives us the answer: the Holy Spirit must open our hearts to receive and to know the hope to which Christians have been called (v. 18). This is not, however, merely correct doctrine: it is rooted in the experience of relationship with God as He truly is (v. 17). If I am not relationally connecting with God, tangibly receiving His love, and feeling His presence, the result is simple: the hope offered in the Bible stays abstract and doesn’t help me when I am deeply hurting. As I encounter God more and more, I begin to remember the hope of the Gospel when I am tempted to despair or I feel that God is absent. His light shines through my perceived darkness and pain. It is there I learn to abide in Christ and rejoice.

This hope in Christ is what we at Outpost, and all Christians, are called to. We are not called to try and shove our beliefs down peoples’ throats. Rather, we are called to shown how wonderful God is and how a personal relationship with Him far outweighs what culture or legalistic religion tries to offer. But if we are not experiencing and living out of the hope of the Gospel, we don’t have anything tangible to offer those who don’t yet know Jesus. After all, who leaves what they know for a vague promise? When we experience the love of Christ for ourselves, we more naturally overflow in our ability to love people where they are at, while still holding to the truth of God’s Word and His design for sexuality and identity.

If you are a follower of Jesus, I urge you to seek personal connection with Him more and more. Experience the hope God has called you to through the Gospel and seek the Holy Spirit’s help to be renewed! If you are not a follower of Jesus, I urge you to see if Jesus is who He said He was. Relationship with Him provides hope that goes beyond anything this world offers. For all of us, I pray we would know God more personally and live in the life-shaping hope He offers through Jesus. Amen.

A New Season of Change

Dear Friends,

Fall is my favorite season. It has been since I was a little girl. Crisp air, warm (not hot) sunshine, and the changing colors in the trees bring joy to my spirit. And no matter how old I get, fall is a time for new beginnings. Even though I’m well past my own years of schooling, the rhythms of my life treat fall as the starting point of a new year. This year is no different. Instead of starting a new year of school, however, I’m starting something new here at TCJHOP-Outpost: serving as President of the organization.

When I first came on board in the fall of 2015, serving as head of the organization was the furthest thing from my mind. Looking back over the last 8 years, though, I see how God has been leading me to this point. In large and small ways, God has been laying the groundwork and equipping me to step into this position now. It is a humbling and exciting proposition to take the reins of such an important ministry, and I cherish your prayers for this time of transition. Additionally, let me share a few thoughts about how I see Outpost entering this new season, through an observation I made recently.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been fascinated by a tree outside the building that houses our offices. What caught my eye was one small branch of bright red leaves. This branch had changed color earlier than all the others. At first, I thought that only one branch had changed, but further investigation revealed a handful of other small branches that also had changed. The total number of red leaves on the tree was very small, maybe 1% of the tree, but they weren’t actually that hard to find. The red stood out starkly amidst all the green.

The red leaves on this tree caused me to reflect on Outpost and our people. For many who come through our doors, they know what it means to stand out from the crowd. Their personal struggles with sexuality, relationships, and identity have marked them as different; many feel like they don’t belong anywhere. Their desire to align their thoughts, feelings, intentions, and behaviors with the God-given gift of their embodiment marks them as even more different. Although these kinds of standing out can be tiring, there is a new and encouraging kind of standing out on the horizon. It is the fruit of a renewed life and the transformation that comes from encountering the living God and receiving the healing that He brings. This transformed standing out is what Outpost is all about.

As I reflected further on the leaves and the tree, I realized that the next few months look to be a time of change here at Outpost. We’re looking for new office space, we’re resetting some internal structures, and staff members are learning new tasks for their new roles. So while you may see us doing things in new ways, who we are has not changed. Outpost is and will continue to be a place where hurting people come to find hope and healing through encounter with God, relationship with Jesus, and the power of the Holy Spirit.

As we reset, adjust, and move into this new season, I invite you to continue to partner with us in our work. We continue to desire and need your prayers. We truly cannot do what we do without them. We also continue to seek and need your financial support. While we believe God will provide what we need to do what He asks, we recognize that the provision comes through all of you reading these words.

As Dan remarked last month, God is not done with Outpost. Our staff is excited to hear from God about new and creative ways to minister. Our volunteer leaders are energized to step up into expanded responsibilities. Our participants are ready to continue in their growth and healing. And our network of support is expanding. We look forward to partnering with each and every one of you as well in these endeavors. Won’t you join us?

signature of author

Do You Want to Change?

Reflections on 30 years at Outpost

“Do you want to change?” This was the question my pastor asked me in the spring of 1988. What I thought was a sexual question turned out to be a spiritual one. It was the question of repentance, as with the New Testament word for “change of heart.” In 30 of my 35 years of change since then, I’ve been privileged to serve at Outpost in various capacities. I started in 1993 as “Associate Director” and wrote these words for Outpost News in 1994: “We simply want to assist those who are already God’s children to work out their salvation in fear and trembling in regards to the areas of homosexuality and personal spiritual growth.” This hasn’t changed!

There are a number of transitions however, that I’d like us to remember. In September 1996 I wrote in my newsletter that the month “marked a new beginning for Outpost. There was a significant change in leadership within the organization with three out-going board members leaving the board. This also translated into … a promotion! I am now the Executive Director of Outpost, Inc. … Bringing an organization through transitions such as we are experiencing is a real crisis according to the famous Chinese definition: their word signifies both danger and opportunity. I also realize that … transitional leaders, like interim pastors, often move on after the storm clears.” (DAN’S WORLD, October 1996) Things are still in transition in 2023!

I took a look back at 2001, which was another transitional period for us. We moved our office to a bank vault and found out later that the very first Outpost office also contained a bank vault! We jokingly referred to it as “Your secret is safe with us!” Unfortunately, 2001 was also the opposite of a bankroll for us, as we struggled intensely with finances that year. We closed down the Joshua Fellowship program and lost a key volunteer leader in Living Waters, forcing the unexpected closure of that program for the year. Surely, “Outpost is dead,” was the threat of the enemy. We had shriveled up and nearly died. But like the parable of the sower in John 12, after the seed was buried, it burst forth in new life. We started a “Noontime Prayer Break,” where we invited folks to come in for prayer from noon to one each day.  And then 2002 and 2003 brought more resurrection life to Outpost. Prayer increased, Joshua Fellowship was re-tooled and Living Waters restarted. We were “back in the saddle” once again.

In 2008, following a year of eye surgeries, my tenure as CEO changed with my vision loss. By 2011 I could no longer function effectively and stepped aside to make room for a new CEO, Nate Oyloe. With a new “operating system” our Board catapulted the ministry into a period of tremendous growth. By the end of 2015 a new kind of “death unto resurrection” occurred and Outpost merged into a new organization called Twin Cities Justice House of Prayer (TCJHOP). Prayer was a major focus, as we had our prayer room open over 40 hours a week. Outpost had grown to four regular support ministries: Joshua Fellowship, CalebSpirit, Elijah Company and Living Waters. And then a worshiping congregation brought it all together. We had 17 paid staff members and filled up a waning congregation’s church building with spiritual vitality throughout the work week.

The enemy had designs on us. Through a series of unrelated events, our staff was compromised in different ways. We seemed to lose our focus, even on the board level. And one by one staff members left. We are now down to four, a level we haven’t seen in nearly 20 years! It is a time for mourning, yes, but also for planting. When the seed falls into the earth and dies, new life springs forth in abundance.

We’ve seen this happen time and time again in our history in various ways. Sin had almost ruined us when our former executive director, Jeff Ford, decided to go back to gay life in the early 1980s. We started getting “famous” with our TV ad campaign in 1997, only to be pulled off-task. Then, we saw financial distress with the fall of the Twin Towers on 9/11/2001, the medical loss of vision for me in 2008-2011, and distracted vision in the years 2016-2020. We have “fallen into the earth and died” many times in our past. The enemy hates us and our mission, so he works overtime to stop us. Yet God will prevail. I believe Outpost’s best years lie ahead!

In these times, I often revisit the vision and scriptures God used in my early life to help me focus and stay on task. One of them is Galatians 6:1, “If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” This is what we do at Outpost Ministries. We are not here to get famous or make a profit. We’re not here to talk to the media who hate our message and will do anything to stop us. We are here to walk alongside folks who’ve decided that Jesus is worth all the suffering and struggle we go through in order to follow him.

In the 1970s, well prior to my involvement here at Outpost, Nancy Honeytree wrote a song called “Live for Jesus.” It was recorded by multiple Christian artists, including Evie. The point of the song is clear and simple: “Live for Jesus, that’s what matters. And when other houses crumble, mine is strong!” This is referring to Luke 6 where Jesus is teaching and calling people to follow him. He says, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?” In a word, we are here to call people to trust Jesus for healing and to obey him in all things. Discipleship. That’s who we are. That’s what we do. It’s in our DNA as an organization, dating back to our inception in the mid-1970s. And it’s what Outpost will continue to do after me, for many years to come.

Thank you for the many years of support and fellowship in this ministry. Please come for coffee and pie on September 16th to celebrate what God has done!

The Spirit of Caleb

But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land.

Numbers 14:24 (ESV, emphasis added)

Dear Friends,

These words from Numbers are the guiding verse for our older men’s group, CalebSpirit. This group is essentially a fellowship group, defined as two or more Fellows in one Ship, struggling against the tide to reach their destination. Of course, the Old Testament imagery of Caleb and the Exodus is the centerpiece of our approach to ministry. Released from slavery to sin, now en route to the Promised Land of freedom in Christ, these men are on a journey together.

Our itinerary includes focused discussion throughout the school year, generally about Christian discipleship and sometimes more specifically about the topics related to LGBTQ+. We often include weekend retreats in September and May, and even January, schedule permitting.

Along with the book study, we have other occasional events like dinners, movie nights or holiday/birthday parties. During the summer months we ramp up the outdoor activities like mini-golf, kayaking, biking, croquet and of course, food events like BBQs, restaurants and ICE CREAM!

Perhaps the sweetest part of our fellowship takes place “off schedule.” At our age, we seem to be attending more family funerals together, like Mom’s, Dad’s, spouse’s, and sadly, even some of our men’s children’s funerals. We walk with each other through the impacts of caring for aging parents, difficulties in children’s lives, and even separations and divorces.

Life is not easy on the Road to Zion. But, oh, when we get to the Promised Land, do we have something to look forward to! There will be no more sin and no more suffering when we Look in His Wonderful Face! So, we walk side by side, offering encouragement, strength and hope to each other along life’s way.

We all need that, don’t we? I’m so glad that I’ve had many communities like this in my life. I have much to be grateful for!

The example of Caleb is a powerful one. Think of it. He was about 40 years old and the head of his family when Israel set out on the Exodus. He bravely spied out the land with 11 other scouts. Only his and Joshua’s reports came back engendering hope and a future for the Children of Israel. Ten naysayers—faithless men—put a halt on the whole thing. Only he and Joshua held out for hope and kept the faith.

Now, imagine again. Caleb watched all his adult friends drop dead in the wilderness. He heard all their grumblings, murmurings and complaints, yet kept the faith. He had a different spirit about him. He was “one in a million.” And if there were 2 million people on this march, Joshua was the other “one in a million”! God uses extraordinary people like Caleb.

But what made Caleb extraordinary? Was it his education? No, he was a slave. Was it his lineage? Perhaps, as he was “one of them” in the line of Jacob. Was it his hard work? Maybe, as he did claim to be as strong at 85 as he was at 40! (See Joshua 14:10f. for the full story on how he eventually took the land for his inheritance.)

Actually, the one characteristic that set Caleb apart from his ten Israelite “brothers” was this: he fully followed YHWH. He kept the faith! He submitted. He yielded control. In essence, he was meek.

Meekness is, generally speaking, not seen as a social value or a positive masculine virtue. But God saw it and rewarded him for it. Meekness, as we are learning in our summer study of the Beatitudes, is “strength under control.” It is like a horse that has been broken and now, submitting fully to the jockey, can win races. As Colin Smith aptly observes in his book Momentum, wild horses don’t win races! Broken horses do.

Caleb was rewarded first with life itself. He did not fall in the wilderness, but was preserved. Secondly, he was rewarded with an inheritance that he would pass on as his legacy for generations. He was the chief of the tribe of Judah, and if you recall, Jesus was of the tribe of Judah, too. Talk about legacy!

So, it is in the same spirit that the men of CalebSpirit are building a future in and for the Kingdom! Perhaps their legacy will bless generations to come.

PS: If you’re interested in joining CalebSpirit, please contact me at the office phone 763-592-4700 x101. I’m happy to help get you started!

The Desperation for New Birth

“To all who did receive [Jesus], to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God …Jesus answered, ‘Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’”

John 1:12-13, 3:5-7 (NIV)

Dear Friends,

A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of attending the Restored Hope Network’s HOPE Conference. It was a terrific time of testimonies and teaching centered on the Gospel of Grace and its impact on our sexuality and gender. During the conference, one of the presenters said something that pulled me up short.

One of the main themes of the conference was the history of the transgender movement, its roots, and its ideologies. Within this discussion, one of the presenters stated how all of us are desperate for new birth. One of the draws of transgenderism is that the world tells those struggling with gender identity that they can be reborn! “Get enough surgeries, take enough hormones and puberty blockers, and then you will finally be happy and become who you truly are inside.” This message is proclaimed from all sides and is rampant among our culture, particularly with today’s youth and on social media.

This statement about our desire for new birth really struck a chord with me. While I personally have not struggled with gender confusion, I certainly have experienced much pain over the years with my unwanted same-sex romantic/erotic attractions and acting-out sexual behaviors. In seeing the disconnect between my feelings/false desires and God’s design/call on my life, I cry out, “God, make me new!” I believe followers of Jesus, regardless of the particularities of our struggles, can relate with the heartfelt tension of the already/not-yet of our lives. However, I am reminded of the hope Jesus has for us now, not merely in some distant future.

The Gospel writer John uses the imagery of birth throughout his account of Jesus’ life. Our birth is not something we willed, it is by grace and the will of another that we came to be. So it is with our new birth. We cannot remake ourselves as the world claims, but we can be made new through the gracious and costly intervention of God. However, not only is our new birth in Christ guaranteed for eternity, He has already brought it about. He IS our new life through the Holy Spirit! While we cannot give ourselves life, Jesus is the way to new life, both for now and forever. His promise and work is the new birth we all truly long for and need. May we receive His new life and rest in the assurance of being children of God!

Streams of Living Water

“I can’t explain it, but somehow our identity is inextricably linked to our parents.”

Dennis Rainey

In the fall of 2000, I talked to a friend who was doing Living Waters at his church. At the time, he was struggling with relational wholeness, and for him, the struggle was with his sexuality. After talking with him and hearing how the Spirit was changing him, I sensed that Living Waters was worth a try for me.

I grew up as an only child of two working parents, with an active imagination, ample free time, and a knack for exploring. My father had a coffee table full of pornography, and the material was a regular way for me to find escape and pleasure. Addiction to pornography began at an early age, with sexual activity starting in my mid-teens. Compounding my struggles, I was molested at a young age by a babysitter and another older adult. I recognize now that my father didn’t know how to be present with me and so attention, identity, belonging, and affirmation seemed to elude me. As I became an adult, I chose to continue with what felt good. I focused on working, buying a lifestyle, paying attention to my looks, taking drugs, smoking, and making sure I was dating the most attractive women in front of me. These behaviors spiraled into isolation within myself and I never allowed anyone to get close. Sexual addiction had become a sentence and was getting worse. Thoughts of other pleasures and instant fixes rolled through my thoughts and imagination. Same-sex attraction and fantasies seemed to be a next step. All I saw was living a life where I chose to do whatever made me feel good.

The testimony of my friend changed all that. I realized I had to find something that would fill the void I was recognizing in myself. Joining Living Waters at Outpost and wanting to change was the beginning of what is now a lifelong journey.

Upon diving into the work, reading the books, and partaking in the groups, I saw how choices I had made in my past still affected me. I had to go deep into areas that, for me, were hard to confront. Idolatry, covetousness, and narcissism were a few of the traits that needed to be addressed. I realized that I was either unable to make decisions or only made decisions that made me feel better. Mother wounds and father wounds were recognized over the years as well. I saw how these wounds were not necessarily my parents’ fault, but who I was and how I reacted to their actions left a mark. I saw how past trauma left me in a constant fight or flight mode. Flight was my choice, and symptoms of PTSD in me were quite evident. Being constantly on guard left me always on the defensive. Guilt and shame were my identity.

Thankfully, through many seasons of Living Waters, my relationship with God The Father became something that I could trust. Trusting and saying “yes” to Him opened doors that I could have never imagined and am eternally grateful for. Each season brings more revelation, bringing me to a level of now walking in who He is and who I am in Christ.

For me, Living Waters is not just a program to complete and then move on to the next self-help group. It is not a service to attend on Sunday, a book to read, or an event to take part in. Instead, Living Waters is a time to truly take responsibility for my actions, bring my hurts to God, and seek healing. Knowing these truths and knowing Him is something many Christians confess today, but we can miss an important part of relationship with the Father: the deep healing of our past. We are no longer who we were, but we miss who He has for us to become. Living Waters is a place to start embracing that journey.

The truth is, Living Waters is for all believers! It is a safe place to engage in the healing process. Healing from past hurts, trauma, and abuse is His specialty.  Together, we deal on the front line with the roots of false identity and fear, which we all have. Typically, these come from hiding and are the symptoms to be faced and walked through to receive His healing.

We all have the same sin Adam and Eve had, and we receive the same consequences. It looks something like this:

We disobey instruction -> We feel shame and hide from God -> We blame someone else for our actions -> Our relationship with God is broken -> We experience long-term consequences -> Life goes from bad to worse -> Repeat

The choice we make is whether we will continue to repeat the cycle, or if we will break the chain! And we can break the chain, due to the ONE difference: we have Jesus Christ! With Jesus and through a great church, mentors, friends, and men and women who work at humility, honesty, honor, healing, and hope, we are the body of Christ. We can walk with one another into our true identity.

Will you join me and look forward to more transformation? Will you be present with the loving, faithful Father? Will you join me in saying heartily “YES!”

1 John 4:17 “Because as He is, so are we in the world.”

The 2023-24 Living Waters program will be held this year on Saturday mornings starting on September 23. We will update the Living Waters page as the class plans and application process are finalized, so check back for all the details.

Connecting to the Gospel

But I consider my life of no value to myself; my purpose is to finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.

Acts 20:24 (CSB)

Last week in Bible Study, our group looked closely at this statement from Paul of how he saw the “why” of his life. Here, Paul clearly states that his overall motivation was to testify to the gospel. It seems like a very broad statement, and yet the broadness makes this motivation all the more powerful. No matter what situation Paul encountered, no matter how comfortable or painful, his way forward was always clear: share the good news of Jesus Christ.

Whether or not we identify it, each one of us lives life with a core motivation. Perhaps that motivation for you is avoiding pain, or feeling loved, or achieving control over your circumstances. For many years, my primary motivation was to never be seen making mistakes or not knowing an answer. On the outside, my life looked great. But on the inside, I was always afraid of being found out and known as a fraud.

From Motivation to Mission

Thankfully, when we claim Jesus as Savior and Lord, we are redeemed completely, including our motivations. The inward focus of our old thinking keeps us isolated and disconnected. In our new life, however, we find a “why” that looks outward, encouraging us to bring ourselves and our stories out into the world. I’ve known for many years that God designed me as a connector. I am made to connect people to the things they need, whether that is relationships, information, or resources. The more I walk in the newness of my redeemed identity, the more I get to do that in the service of the gospel.

Here at Outpost, I have the privilege of connecting people to hope and healing for their relational and sexual brokenness. Even though my job title has changed multiple times since coming on staff, I’ve consistently been able to participate in making these connections. I love to see and hear people’s reactions when a connection is made and they take the first step to encountering God in this area of their lives.

Connecting to Teaching

The first way I make connections is through our seminars and speaking engagements. When someone calls looking for teaching and training for their church or ministry, they talk to me. I get to help them figure out what their group needs, and how we can best meet that need.

Sometimes, I direct people to one of our already created seminars. Our Distinctions seminar is a great overview to help people understand and respond to issues around LGBTQ+ identities and questions. Our Foundations class, taught every month in-house, gives an introduction to how we understand our created being and what the healing journey entails. I love to help groups tailor the content for their particular audience, whether young adults, leadership teams, or multi-generational congregations.

In some cases, the best option is for two or three of our staff members and volunteer leaders to visit and share testimonies of transformation through Jesus. After sharing, we hold an extended Q&A time with the group we’re visiting. Our stories of God’s work are powerful. The stories encourage and teach and remind the listeners that no one needs to walk the path of life alone.

Connecting to Resources

The second way I make connections is by keeping our recommended resources list updated. While we primarily use the list when we visit churches or attend conferences, the list is also available on our website. At the top of our “Resources” page, you will find a link to a pdf file of book titles and video resources. The list is organized by topic and includes titles and videos for all age groups, including young readers and their parents. We love to help people find more ways to learn and be encouraged by the authors and video hosts.

Connecting to Hope

The third way God is using me to make connections is through planning our special events. Whether planning a fundraiser or a worship service, my goal is always to bring people together to encounter the love and truth of the living God. It is through these types of encounters that hearts are softened and lives are changed.

What a joy it is to have traded my old motivation for a new mission. Whatever my job tasks, and wherever God leads me to serve, my mission remains: to connect people to what they need most. That is, to connect people to the living God, that they, too, may experience hope and healing in Jesus’s name. Won’t you join me in sharing the good news with others? I pray you find (or are reminded of) your new motivation today. And may you be empowered by God to walk out your mission in love and truth.

signature of author

For more information on seminars or other training, call the office and ask for Wendy. Also, be sure to join us for our next special event, Called Out of Darkness, at 7:00 pm on June 22 at Cornerstone Church Crystal. More information on all these items is also on the website, www.outpostministries.org.

From Fear to Courage

The Joshua Fellowship Journey

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

Dear Friends,

Joshua Fellowship (JF) is Outpost’s support group for young men struggling with same sex attraction, sex addiction, and other forms of sexual and relational brokenness.  It is named from the words of the Lord to Joshua in Joshua 1:9. These are words that all the young men in our program desperately need to hear and believe if they are going to make it through the battles ahead of them in life. They are not taking hold of a literal promised land, but rather promises that God has made to each of them. The story of Joshua can inspire them to go after those promises. JF’s summer masculinity course, which takes place every June through August, focuses especially on these themes and provides opportunities to experience victory in the face of challenge in very practical and physical ways.

Fear and Doubt

When I joined JF over 10 years ago, I was struggling in many seemingly independent areas of my life: career and finances, familial relationships, spiritual disciplines, physical fitness, and of course my sexuality. I joined JF in the fall, but it was during the summer masculinity course that I made the greatest strides in my healing journey. Over the course of the summer, I was stretched and challenged to achieve things that I’d previously been unwilling to even attempt. Over time I realized I had allowed failures in my past to teach me a very powerful lie: “I can’t.” As I chose to trust God and my leaders with my self-doubt and fear, I found myself able to take measured risks in the supportive and encouraging environment of the group. By the end of the summer, I was able to boldly declare “I can!” as I took on one of the most intimidating physical challenges I had ever faced.

The Well-Worn Path

The only thing more fulfilling than experiencing victory in your own life is leading others into victory alongside you. In 2021 I took the helm of JF as its coordinator. I’ve been incredibly blessed by the opportunity to share the hope and healing that God imparted to me through past leaders of the program with the next generation of JF participants. I love watching the various individuals who make up a summer cohort slowly evolve into an incredibly tight-knit and unified group by the end of the course. The shared experiences and mutual encouragement in the face of struggle forms a strong bond. This bond has resulted in many lasting friendships for myself and others who have gone through the program over the years.

Be Strong and Courageous!

The summer masculinity course, Strive, is returning this June. It is open to any young men aged 18 to 35 who want to take hold of the strength and courage they were created for and achieve victory in their fight for holy sexuality. Strive is structured to give participants as many opportunities as possible to confront their doubts and fears and to experience support, encouragement, and overcoming of struggles in very tangible ways. The spiritual disciplines of worship, prayer, scripture memory and meditation are paired with practical life disciplines and physical exercise to facilitate accelerated personal and spiritual growth. Are you discouraged by your ongoing sexual struggle? Do you feel trapped in unhealthy relationships or a dissatisfying job? Is your life dominated by passivity, fear, or doubt? Strive is designed to help you through these struggles and more.

Crossing the Jordan

As the Lord promised to Joshua, I now say to you: “Be Strong and Courageous!” It is time to leave the wanderings of doubt and insecurity behind and to courageously forge a path forward into freedom and strength. There is hope for healing on the other side of the Jordan. Your sexual and relational brokenness and identity insecurity is not too much for the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to conquer. Will you will submit to His instruction? Will you follow the well-worn path of the generations of overcomers before you? Will you join the men of JF and Strive on this journey out of doubt and fear and into strength and courage? I truly hope you will.

Matt's signature

Seeing Ourselves Through the Eyes of Hope*

We do not see things as they are.

We see things as we are.

– Dad

I recently came upon the above quote in A Father’s Book of Wisdom, a book given to me by a close friend. The “Dad” is the father of H. Jackson Brown, Jr., the book’s writer. I had to read these lines several times because they turned my thinking, and forced me to discern their meaning. There was something there, but what was it?

“Dad” gets points for candor and truth-telling. At least by my account. And it is the kind of truth-telling that invites the hearer to take a moment and do a personal inventory. “Wait a minute here, what am I seeing and why do I see this in this light?” Persuading people to take a personal look often elicits a strong and negative response. Why? Perception is reality—until it passes through due diligence!

Thus the difficulty with which the pro-LGBTQ+ world hears our message of hope for change and healing. Their reality is based on their perception of “the way things are,” just as our reality is based on our perceptions. We all see things from a faulty understanding sometimes, and not necessarily the way they are in reality. And, for us to convince someone otherwise, we need to enter their world, or at the very least, try to understand just exactly how it is that they see things. Theologically, this is what the Incarnation of Christ was all about: God becoming human in order to save us from ourselves. Missionally, this is our method. Like Paul, we try to become all things to all people that in so doing, some might be saved.

Point One is getting people to understand that reality may be something quite beyond their momentary perception. This issue of seeing things the way we are applies not only to evangelism and persuasion techniques regarding LGBTQ+ issues. Everyone does this. Indeed, Christians struggling with any number of issues can get “stuck” on this point, particularly if they are attempting to overcome a sin because of their deeply held spiritual convictions. Many find it hard to “recover” from their illness, addiction or problem, or to overcome unwanted same-sex attractions (SSA) because they see themselves incompletely. Perhaps they see themselves as incapable of change. Maybe they see their SSA or other condition as unchangeable. We, as truth-tellers, have a responsibility to inform their perception, to give them information which will give them the option of changing their opinions or actions which were previously based on an incomplete understanding of themselves. Much of this “information” about themselves should come from their Creator. He made them, let Him tell them what He had in mind! We simply remind people of God’s words.

All in all, I think it is a pretty bold move to ask someone to set aside his or her self-perception, in order to try to see things from a different angle. It’s like asking a New Yorker to move to Irian Jaya and live in a grass hut. Or like asking a stone-age native from Borneo to move to Beverly Hills. Either way, there will be self-conscious apprehension and high anxiety. Yet this is what we do at Outpost! We ask people to step out of their reality and see things from a completely different perspective. It’s a whole new world, and everyone feels off balance (especially at first). People want equilibrium. They like things the way they always were. (Not that that’s possible!)

I recall a joke about church politics that might shed some light on why things are as hard as they are: “The seven last words of the Church: We’ve never done it that way before!” People tell this joke to poke fun at how things (don’t) change in churches. But this is merely an extension of human nature. We are all admittedly uncomfortable about change. Any change. A New Testament picture of children learning offers a bit of insight. In Galatians 3:24, there was a hired hand whose sole job was to get the kids to school. Job Title: tutor (in the NASB). Tools: horse whip. He would literally beat the kids, driving them like cattle to school. The conventional thinking of the day was, if there were no tutor, the kids would dawdle and rebel and never quite make it to school. The children’s attitude is in all of us. Why would we want to change? Fishing and skipping rope are much more fun than school! And school would change us.

This phenomenon is very interesting on the flip side of this issue as well. Have you ever met someone who, in all his enthusiasm for daring feats of amazement, says things like, “It’s as easy as falling off a log” or “It’s like riding a bike.” Or, (and this one especially grates on me when I’m having trouble) “Hey, if I can do it, anyone can!” They easily exude confidence in others, when they see it accomplished in their own life. They see others the way they see themselves. They truly see the other being just like themselves, not so much the way the other one is in reality.

This attitude, however, may actually encourage us to learn the new thing. It may inspire hope in us that we can actually change when we feel hopeless about change. The lightness of heart may make the prospect of change really positive. Change will then be seen as a good thing, rather than something to fear or disdain.

So, how can we embrace optimistic hope about our own ability and willingness to change? How are we to engender that hope in others? Let me leave you with this scripture:

Hebrews 10:23-25: “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, … encouraging one another; and [this] all the more….” (NASB)

We are given this injunction by the writer of the book of Hebrews as encouragement to persevere. We shall overcome!

*This article first appeared in Dan’s World, July 1998. It has been abridged and updated. Used with permission.

Hope for the Hurting

When my wife and I joined Elijah Company (EC) we said, “We need help and hope.” We were so broken and hurt. Going into our first meeting, we felt like the Samaritan woman at the well, and Jesus was asking us for water (John 4). We were reminded of Jesus’ words to her in verse 10: “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” However, we didn’t feel worthy of God’s help. Like many, we wanted a reset button for our family. Instead, we received the gift of living water from God: words of truth that bring us the hope and healing we needed.

Focusing on God’s Truth

This month, I’d like to share a couple of these words of truth that we have learned and are learning through the ministry of EC. First, we need to keep our eyes fixed upon God’s truth. One of the most common thoughts a parent has when a child identifies as LGBTQ+ is “I must have done something wrong.” Parent guilt is real, and it is from the enemy. I have battled this myself, and it is one of the reasons we got involved with EC. In these times, it is important to direct ourselves back to God and His Word. An important scripture to claim daily is Galatians 6:9: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” This truth brings us hope and helps sustain us through the struggle.

The Battle is The Lord’s

Second, we must remember who is the actual enemy. In one of our EC devotions, we studied Deuteronomy 20:1-4. The Living Bible says it this way: “When you go to war and see before you vast numbers of horses and chariots, and an army far greater than yours, don’t be frightened. The Lord your God is with you…For the Lord your God is going with you. He will fight for you against your enemies, and he will give you the victory.” As parents and family of loved ones identifying as LGBTQ+, we can easily feel that the whole community is the enemy. That is not accurate. Truly there is a high degree of organization in the LGBTQ+ community, especially through social media and chat rooms. Oftentimes, our loved ones are coached in their words and behaviors. However, our enemy has always been the evil one, Satan. Peter identifies this for us in 1 Peter 5:8 where he names our enemy as the devil. In other places, he also refers to the devil as Satan, slanderer, and adversary. The LGBTQ+ community is filled with sons and daughters who have been told lies from the evil one. Every one of them needs our prayers. Let us remember Ephesians 6:12: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Let us respond as in Ephesians 6:13: “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

Joyful Hope

As I close, I’ll say what we in EC remind each other of regularly. We claim the words of Paul in Romans 12:12 when he says, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.” These words represent the essence of what we experiences in an EC meeting. We acknowledge the hurt we carry for our loved ones. We are joyful in the knowledge our Lord has a plan, a future, and a purpose for our loved ones. The truth of God’s Word sustains us in our grief. Finally, being faithful in prayer maintains our hope.

Thanks be to God!


Elijah Company is a prayer-based support group open to parents, families, and friends of loved ones who are overcoming unwanted same-sex attractions, who struggle with gender confusion, or who identify as LGBTQ+. Each time we meet we have a devotion and time to share and update one another on our lives. Then, most of our time is dedicated to praying for our loved ones. If you are or someone you know is interested in joining the group, contact the office.